


Find You Home

by FullOnLarrie



Series: Find You Home [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Hand Jobs, Kissing, M/M, Masturbation, Mutual Masturbation, Mutual Pining, Pining, Roommates, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-12
Updated: 2017-12-12
Packaged: 2019-02-12 18:59:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 35,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12966225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FullOnLarrie/pseuds/FullOnLarrie
Summary: When Louis lies to his family and says he’ll bring his new boyfriend home for Christmas, his best friend and roommate Harry agrees to play the part. It’s that, or be left alone over the holidays.What will happen? No one knows! Perhaps Santa will swoop in with a Christmas miracle.Featuring lovesick idiots, kissing and cuddling, pies and Christmas clichés.





	Find You Home

**Author's Note:**

> Hellooooooo and welcome to my xmas / fake relationship fic! 
> 
> I hope you enjoy it because I had a lot of fun writing it. Please don’t expect anything deep or especially wonderful because this is just supposed to be a silly thing. 
> 
> As always, thanks to [Nic](http://louandhazaf.tumblr.com) for being a kickass beta, cheerleader, and friend ❤️ I couldn’t write a word without you. 
> 
> Thank you to [Jess](http://someonethatsfunny.tumblr.com) for reading along and gasping at all the right places ❤️
> 
> Title comes from the song Please Come Home For Christmas
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> 
> **If you’d like to translate any of my fics, feel free, but please post the translation on ao3, and send me a link so that I can include it in the author’s notes.**
> 
>  
> 
> **Please do not post this fic or any of my other fics on any other websites.**

Harry trudged through the dirty slush that had been pristine white snow when he’d left for work that morning. He knocked his boots off on the bricks outside the entrance to his apartment building, then carefully made his way up the slippery metal stairs just inside. A sigh escaped his lips when he reached the door to his apartment. Louis was probably home already, which meant that there wasn’t really any way for Harry to avoid talking about it. He sighed again and opened the door.

The little hook by the door held Louis’ keys, so he was definitely home. Harry hung his keys beside them and called out, “You home?”

He could hear noise coming from Louis’ room and the door was open, so he stepped into his own bedroom first to shrug off his coat and pull off his boots. He wanted to flop backwards onto his bed and wrap himself up in his blanket and never come out, but instead he shuffled down the hallway, knocked on Louis’ door, and walked in. Louis was on the floor, halfway inside his closet, with a pile of clothes and shoes behind him. So Harry threw himself onto Louis’ bed and rolled himself up inside Louis’ blankets instead.

“What are you doing in there?” Harry asked, voice muffled by the blanket that was covering most of his face. Maybe it would be something interesting enough that Harry wouldn’t have to admit that, once again, Louis had been right. That once again, he’d fallen too fast for someone who didn't deserve him. 

The mattress bounced and Harry blinked when Louis pushed the corner of the blanket away from his eyes. “Just looking for something. What’s with you?”

“Nothing.”

“Liar.” Louis laughed and then quietly said, “You don’t have to tell me.”

Harry rolled onto his back and wiggled, trying unsuccessfully to free his arms from the blankets. “Chad broke up with me. Don’t say it.”

Louis rolled his eyes and his mouth twisted into a crooked grin while Harry struggled with the blankets. “He didn’t deserve you, man.” He dug his fingers into Harry’s side, right in the most ticklish spot. Harry’s body jerked and he tried to roll away, but Louis stopped tickling him after a few seconds. Finally, he managed to free himself from the blankets and sit up.

“Yeah, but it sucks because of Christmas.” Harry swung his legs around until he was sitting on the edge of the bed, side by side with Louis.

“It’ll be good though. We’ll both be stuck here.” Louis knocked their shoulders together. “It’ll be the best.”

“I guess. You have to work though. Like, _on Christmas.”_

“On my birthday too. But it’s okay. I’m the new hire and that’s kind of the way it goes.” Louis stood up and started to kick the pile of his things back towards his closet. “I’m only at the restaurant from like four to close, so we’ll have the daytime to do stuff.”

“Yeah, alright. Doesn’t sound completely miserable, I guess.” 

“Oh, guess what I did?” Louis smirked and clapped his hands once, then rubbed them together.

“That sounds ominous. What?” 

“Okay, well, you know how my parents are always bugging me about getting serious with someone?”

Harry nodded because, yes, he knew. In the two years that he’d known Louis and in the year that they’d been roommates, it was the one mystery about Louis that he honestly tried not to delve too far into. Louis didn’t really date. Sometimes he’d take someone out to dinner or a movie, sometimes he’d even see the same person for a few weeks, but they were never around for long enough for Harry to remember their names. And sometimes Louis’d go out with the express purpose of hooking up with someone, and occasionally he’d bring someone back to their apartment, but typically—thankfully—he’d go back to their place if it was an option. The few times he’d had to hear Louis having sex were branded into his brain. He shivered at the memories. 

“Right, well, since I can’t go home and I haven’t seen them in a while, and they won’t stop asking, I lied and told them I have a boyfriend.”

“Why? Won’t your parents be pissed if they find out?”

“Ehh… Maybe. But they won’t find out.” Louis got down on the floor and started to force his pile of clothes back into his closet. “I told them we’ve been together two months and that I was really looking forward to bringing him home with me for the holidays, but I can’t because I have to work. I’m not going to see any of them until mid-January, and by then I can just say we broke up.”

“What’s his name?”

Louis stood up and turned around. “He’s not real, Harold.”

“Yeah, but what’d you tell your mom?”

“I didn’t. Ha. I didn’t really think about it at the time.” Louis gave up on his closet and sat back down next to Harry. “Just said I’d been seeing a gorgeous guy and I wanted them to meet him.”

“You’re a horrible person.” Harry elbowed him in the ribs and stood up. “You know, you should give someone a chance. Having a boyfriend isn’t a bad thing. It’s like… One of the best things.” He turned around when he got to the doorway.

“All of your ex-boyfriends are dicks. How would you even know?”

Harry shrugged. “Even the dickheads have been sweet in the beginning. I just need to find someone who is like…” He held his hand out at chest level, palm facing down and slowly moved it from left to right. “A level amount of really good all the time.”

Louis stood up and held his hand out even with Harry's. "You know, it's really tough being really good all the time. I mean, I struggle with it." He raised his hand until it was over his head, then mimicked Harry's gesture, moving it from right to left. "And I'm fucking wonderful most of the time."

Harry rolled his eyes and spun around like a ballerina in his sock feet and headed for the kitchen to figure out what he wanted to eat. And to distract himself a bit. Because every time he suddenly became single again, every time he came home to whine and complain to Louis about his most recent break-up, he was reminded of the one person he wanted to be with more than anything. But it didn’t matter, really. They were better off as friends, for sure, because they wanted different things. Harry wanted love and Louis just wanted to get laid. Yep. It was better this way.

« »

Harry sighed quietly and eased his car into a space in front of their apartment building. The last day of school before the holiday break was fun and filled with all sorts of activities and Harry smiled to himself at the memory of the happy faces that he’d said goodbye to that afternoon. He leaned over to pick up his bag from the floorboard and he giggled when his hair flopped over his forehead sending a shower of glitter onto the passenger seat. Some of the holiday activities had been rather messy. He looked down at his shirt. There was paste on one sleeve, paint on the cuffs, and he was pretty sure he was going to have to wash everything twice to get the glitter out.

This time of day on a Friday, Harry would normally expect Louis to be dressed and ready for a busy night shift at the restaurant, but Louis had said that they’d given him Friday and Saturday off since he was going to be working on Christmas. Because he was the most recent hire to their management team, he usually got stuck with most of the grunt work, but he didn’t seem to mind. He loved his job, loved his coworkers, loved most everything about it. It just sucked that he had to work holidays. 

Harry was coming to terms with this Christmas being just the two of them. It would be fun, he was sure, but he was still nervous about it. It seemed like such a couple thing to do, and he was actually thankful that Louis had to work, because otherwise they'd practically be together twenty-four hours a day over the holiday and Harry was already having trouble keeping his feelings hidden.

As soon as Harry opened the door, he could hear Louis’ phone ringing. It sounded like it was coming from the kitchen. He hung his keys on the rack and dropped his bag on the couch, shrugged his coat off and turned around just in time to watch Louis come barrelling down the hallway, in sweatpants tucked into socks and no shirt. He slid the last few feet and bumped into Harry’s chest, knocking some more glitter loose, then ran into the kitchen to try to catch his phone before it stopped ringing. 

Harry shook his head fondly and wandered down the hall to his room. He carefully pulled off his button down shirt, wrapped it up inside his undershirt, and put it on top of the rest of the clothes in his hamper so that the glitter wouldn’t get everywhere. He headed back out to the kitchen in just his underwear—it was too warm in their apartment to bother putting on much else—and grabbed a beer while he watched Louis.

He was still on the phone, not saying much other than the occasional hum of agreement, but he looked worried. 

“Right. Yeah, it’s no problem. See you in a bit, then.” He hung up and stared at his phone for a few seconds before looking up at Harry.

“Where are you going?” Harry tipped his beer back and took a long swallow. Friday night and Louis wasn’t working, so maybe he planned to go out and find someone to take him home. ’Tis the season and all that.

“The restaurant.” Louis huffed and walked out of the kitchen. Harry followed him to his room. “The owners decided that they _don’t_ want to be open on Christmas after all.” He dug around in his closet until he found a clean button-up shirt. “They apparently finally took a look at the numbers from last year and it was so dead that they lost money, so they’re closing tomorrow. It’s all hands on deck tonight, so I’m going in.” He hopped a bit while he pulled up his trousers, and Harry took the opportunity to enjoy the view of his ass bouncing. He managed to look away before Louis turned back around. 

“Wait, so you’re off for Christmas?”

“I’m off from tomorrow until Wednesday. They decided to just close until then.” Louis shoved his feet into his shoes and walked out of his room with Harry right behind him, but just a few steps down the hall, he stopped so suddenly that Harry stumbled into his back. “Fuck.”

“What?”

“Fuck. I… I have to go home now. My mom will kick my ass if I don’t. Fuck.”

“What? I thought you wanted to go home. You said you—Oh.” Harry tried to stop his laughter from escaping with his hand, but it was no use. When he finally got rid of his giggles and caught his breath, Louis was halfway out the door, so Harry called after him, “Your mom is going to love your new fake boyfriend!”

Louis flipped him off and slammed the door behind him and Harry burst out laughing again.

« »

Harry woke up early on Saturday and the weather was alright, so he got dressed and went for a run. He hadn’t thought about it the previous night, he’d been too amused by Louis’ lie coming back to bite him in the ass, and after he’d finished his laundry, he’d gone to bed early. It didn’t hit him until he was a mile into his regular loop around the neighborhood that if Louis was going home to his family, then he was going to be left completely alone for Christmas. He slowed his stride and finally came to a stop. If Louis hadn’t made up this stupid fake boyfriend, Harry could’ve probably convinced him to let him tag along to his parents’ house. He shook his head and took off running again, trying to shake the sudden heavy cloud hanging over him.

It was no use. He walked back to their apartment, stopping to stretch a few times on the way, and slowly climbed the stairs, resigned to his fate. It was still early, and Louis wasn’t awake yet, so Harry was careful to be quiet while he showered. He took his time, just standing underneath the warm water for a while before actually washing. Maybe he’d just go back to bed. With his towel slung around his waist he walked out to the kitchen to grab a glass of water to take back to his room, but when he turned the corner, Louis was standing there, with a cup of coffee in his hand and his phone to his ear. 

“Yeah, mom, I know. I’m really glad it worked out…”

Harry snorted, then bit his lip. This would be fun to see, if he could remain silent for the entire conversation. He filled his glass with water and chugged it, then poured himself a cup of coffee while listening to Louis try to backpedal out of bringing his mysterious boyfriend home to meet his parents. Harry took a sip of coffee and leaned back against the counter to watch.

“I know. I know I said I’d bring him, but…” Louis rubbed his forehead and ran his fingers through his hair. He was clearly feeling awful about lying to his mom and Harry almost felt sorry for him. Louis blinked and gave Harry an appraising look, his eyes slowly traveled over Harry’s mostly naked body. It was strange to feel Louis looking at him so intensely and he could feel his chest and neck starting to warm under his gaze. He kind of wanted to run back to his room for some clothes, but he didn’t want to miss out on Louis coming clean to his mom. Louis finally looked up again and met Harry’s eyes while a little smirk played at his lips. “Yeah, mom, I will. He’s just as thrilled as I am. It’ll be great, I know. You’ll love him.”

Harry frowned and silently mouthed, “What? Who?”

“Mmhmm. He’s taller than me. Dark hair. What else do you want to know?” Louis winked at him, which did nothing to clear up his confusion. Maybe Louis had met someone, though that seemed impossible. “Gorgeous.... Yep… Green eyes… I know, they’re beautiful. We’ll be there probably around three this afternoon. Yeah...”

Harry stopped listening. He grabbed his coffee and carried it back to his bedroom, trying not to let it get to him that Louis was not only leaving him all alone for the holidays, but that he’d found someone to play the part of his fake boyfriend, or worse, he’d somehow managed to find a real boyfriend while Harry had been busy making sparkly holiday decorations with his students. 

He let the towel fall to the floor and dug around in his dresser until he found his softest flannel pajama pants. He’d just pulled them up when Louis walked into his room completely unannounced. Harry glanced at him briefly, the grin on Louis’ face causing a war inside Harry’s brain, because he loved that grin so much, but he knew what was coming. Louis was about to break the news that he was going home for Christmas and leaving Harry behind.

“Hey, so did you hear what I said to my mom?” Louis walked over to where Harry still stood, reached into his open dresser drawer, and pulled out one of Harry’s favorite shirts. He tugged it on as he strode over to Harry’s bed, then he pulled down the blanket and climbed underneath it.

“What are you doing?” Harry crossed his arms and then uncrossed them and rested his hands on his hips. He was kind of pissed off and now he couldn’t even get in his bed and wallow because Louis was there.

Louis patted the mattress, then fluffed up the pillow next to him. “Did you hear me?”

“Yeah,” Harry muttered and slowly made his way around the bed to climb in beside Louis. “I heard.” That was all he could bring himself to say. The entire situation felt wrong and unfair and he was starting to feel lonely even though Louis was still right there.

“Great!” Louis reached over and squeezed Harry’s knee, then leaned forward until Harry had to either look at him or turn his head completely away. “I’m cold, so warm me up, my human space heater. Then we can pack and maybe eat something before we leave.” 

Louis snuggled up against Harry’s side and pulled the blankets up to his chin. But Harry was still trying to process things. “Leave?”

“Yeah, can we take your car? I’ll fill up the tank.”

Harry stiffened and frowned. Louis wanted to leave him alone at Christmas _and_ take his car. In what universe was that fair? “What?” 

“What?”

“You want to take my car?”

“I mean, I’ll drive if you want me to, but I know you’d rather do it. Is that okay?”

“What?”

Louis pouted a little and tilted his head. “Are you okay?”

Harry shook his head slightly. “I don’t… I don’t understand.”

“Alright, Harold. I asked if you heard me telling my mom about my new boyfriend. Taller than me, dark hair, green eyes, gorgeous?”

There was nothing for him to do but stare. It was like Louis wanted Harry to congratulate him on finding some hot guy to take home.

“So are you in or what?”

“In?”

“Man, are you sure you’re alright?” Louis lifted his arm and rested the inside of his wrist on Harry’s forehead. “No fever. So answer me. Are you up for being my fake boyfriend or what?”

All at once, every word that Louis had said in the last half-hour or so filtered through and suddenly made sense. He wanted Harry to be his boyfriend. Well, he wanted Harry to _pretend_ to be his boyfriend. 

Harry nodded and scrunched his nose. “Yeah, I’m up for it, I guess. You sure your mom’s going to buy it? I mean, it’s me.”

“Sure she will. She loves you. And it’ll be easy to fake it because you know me already.”

“Right. Umm… I can give your mom that nice bottle of wine you gave me. What else do I need to bring?”

“Nothing fancy. Weather’s about the same as it is here. I’m gonna go pack.” Louis threw back the covers and clambered out of the bed. As he walked down the hall, he turned and called back over his shoulder before he disappeared into his room, “Don’t forget to pack my present!” 

« »

After a few hours, four outfit changes, and completely unpacking and repacking his suitcase twice, Harry was ready to go. 

He was already regretting his decision to go along with this fake boyfriend act. Louis’ family had always been good to him, his parents were absolutely wonderful, his sisters were all sweet and fun to be around, and the baby twins were, well, baby twins. You couldn’t get much better than two babies, well, unless you had three babies. 

Every time they’d come to visit Louis, they’d been so kind and lovely to Harry, and now Harry was going to have to lie to them all. Inside his head he had a little set of balancing scales and they kept tipping back and forth. He really didn’t want to spend the next few days being dishonest, possibly screwing up what he hoped was Louis’ family’s good opinion of him, but he also didn’t want to spend the holidays alone. When Louis thanked him for the thousandth time, then wrapped his arms around Harry, and pulled him into a tight hug, the scale wobbled and fell over. He was going to go through with it. 

Driving was an excellent distraction. He’d never actually been to Louis’ hometown before, though he knew the general area, so he had to concentrate and pay attention to the road, rather than sneaking glances at Louis in the passenger seat. 

Louis was quiet for a while, busy fiddling with his phone, so Harry let his mind wander a bit. He congratulated himself on Louis’ birthday and Christmas presents, had a moment of panic thinking that he’d left them behind, but then remembered that they were in the large bag in the back seat along with all of Louis’ gifts for his family. He took a relieved breath and chanced a quick peek at Louis, then immediately started panicking again, but this time about his ability to play a convincing fake boyfriend. What would Louis’ family expect? Would they have to be affectionate with each other? Touching? Hugging? Kissing? Harry started to blush just thinking about it. He didn’t think he could do it. 

“Made a playlist.” Louis flipped his phone around to show Harry, then turned up the volume. “It’s like… If you were really my boyfriend and I made you a mixtape, this would be it.” 

Harry’s heart did a funny lurch and flip, but he had to control himself. There would probably be a lot worse coming if Louis was really expecting them to pretend to be in a serious relationship. It’d probably be a good idea to be more prepared. Harry turned off the music and Louis whipped his head around to look at him, mouth slightly open. Then he frowned and crossed his arms, letting his head rest against the back of the seat, as he stared out of the window.

“Lou? Umm… What do you think… Shit. Okay. How are we supposed to fake being in a relationship? What exactly are we supposed to do?”

“Oh, I don’t know.” Louis shifted in his seat, pulled his knee up, and turned to face Harry. “I guess I didn’t really think about it.” He tapped his fingers on the center console and hummed.

“I mean, what is your family going to expect?”

Louis chewed on his lip for a second, then said, “Well, like… Honestly, I don’t know. It’s not like I’ve ever done this before. Lottie brought her boyfriend last year and we all, you know, picked on him a bit. Teased him to see how he handled it. They’ve done that with you already. They all know you. So… I don’t know.”

That was completely unhelpful. Harry squeezed the steering wheel and exhaled, puffing out his cheeks.

“You’d know more about what to do than I would. Haven’t you ‘met the family’ before? What was it like?”

Harry had ‘met the family’ before. More than once, actually, and it was always strange and at least a little uncomfortable, but he already knew Louis’ family, so maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. “Yeah, well, before I, um, had to be really aware of how… umm… physically affectionate I was? And, like… pull back a bit. Reel it in. ”

“What, like, you’d have to stop yourself from dry humping next to the egg nog?”

“Jesus, Louis, no. I just… You know how touchy-feely I can be.”

“Oh, like cuddles and hugs and stuff?”

“Yeah, like that.”

Louis hummed thoughtfully and turned to look out his window for a moment. Harry snuck a few glances, but forced himself to keep his eyes on the road. He’d never seen Louis be affectionate with any of the guys he’d hung around with, other than the times he’d watched him dancing and, well, grinding on someone on the dance floor. 

He’d always been tactile with Harry—touching his hair, bumping their hips together when they passed in the hallway, or resting his hand on the small of Harry’s back when they were out someplace crowded. Sometimes he would cuddle with Harry on the couch while they watched TV. If he was hungover, he would usually find his way into Harry’s bed, moaning and groaning until Harry got up and made him bacon and eggs with a side of ibuprofen. When it was especially cold in their apartment the previous winter, Louis would strip the blankets from his bed, put them on top of Harry’s, and insist on sleeping with him because it was double the body heat. 

“Well, I mean, I think that would probably go over well with my family. We should do that stuff.”

“What stuff?”

“What you said. Cuddles and hugs and stuff.” 

“That’s the sort of thing that I tried to avoid when I met my exes’ families.”

“Yeah, but we’re already close. My family’s seen the way we are together at home, so we should… I don’t know… Turn it up a notch.”

“I don’t even know what that means, Lou.”

“Just follow my lead, Harold. It’ll be fine.”

“Right. Okay.” Harry nodded and chewed on the inside of his cheek. He spent the rest of the drive pretending that none of this was happening.

« »

They pulled up alongside the curb in front of Louis’ house about an hour after they’d said they’d be there. Harry’s stomach was still in knots and he was exhausted from worrying. He shouldered his bag and shut the car door with his hip, then followed Louis up the walk. 

“I’m nervous, Lou,” Harry muttered when they reached the foot of the front steps and he watched Louis climb them. “What did they say when you told them I was your boyfriend?”

Louis turned around when he reached the front door, but just as he started to speak, the door swung wide open and four of his sisters rushed out onto the porch. They all bypassed Louis and went straight for Harry, who was halfway up the stairs.

“I knew it was you,” Lottie said with the patented Tomlinson smirk. “Tall, gorgeous, dark hair, green eyes? If it wasn’t you, I was going to kick his ass, to be honest.”

“What?” Harry stopped with one step to go.

“Not surprised he didn’t tell you. Especially when he didn’t tell us.” Fizzy rolled her eyes, wrapped him up in a hug, and continued, “He just said he was bringing his boyfriend, gave mom that description, and that’s it. Left us to wonder if his mysterious boyfriend had a name or a job or, well…” She chuckled and pulled Harry up the last step by his elbow, then led him inside the house. “Whether he existed at all.” 

“He didn’t tell you?” Harry looked at each of Louis’ sisters in turn, and one by one they shook their heads.

“I guess he either thought we’d figure it out or he wanted to surprise us. Pretty sure we all figured it out. Mom hasn’t said anything, but maybe she didn’t want to get her hopes up.” Lottie shrugged and took a step back so the twins could hug Harry from both sides.

Phoebe pointed to Louis’ bag at the bottom of the stairs and said, “Put your stuff there for now.”

“We’ll put it away for you,” Daisy said as she took his bag and leaned it against Louis’ suitcase. 

The twins took off down the hall behind Fizzy and Harry followed Lottie through the house to the kitchen, where Louis was leaning against the counter with a bottle of beer in each hand. He passed one to Harry and clinked the necks of the bottles together. 

“Hey, baby.” Louis grinned at him and winked and Harry’s heart just about leapt out of his chest and ran back out to the car. 

Harry attempted to say ‘hi’, but it got stuck on the way out. He cleared his throat to repeat himself, but then Louis lifted his arm and gestured for Harry to come closer, and he gave up. He leaned against the counter next to Louis and tipped his beer back. His throat was suddenly very dry. 

Louis dropped his arm back down and let it rest on the counter against Harry’s lower back, which shouldn’t have made him blush. “Well, Lots, did you miss me?”

Lottie rolled her eyes and stepped closer for a hug. Louis had only been touching Harry for a moment, but when he pulled his arm away to hug his sister, Harry felt the loss. It was like Louis belonged there and for that few seconds his heart had soared. Now it had dropped to his feet. What the hell had he gotten himself into?

“Can’t believe you tried to keep this a secret, Louis.” Lottie punched him in the arm, then jumped back out of Louis’ reach. On her way out of the kitchen, she said, “Mom’s only not going to murder you because it’s Christmas.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Louis called after her as he leaned back and draped his arm around Harry’s waist. He left his arm there, but turned his body towards Harry. “You okay?”

“Umm… You didn’t tell them I was coming.” 

“No, sorry. I thought it would be—”

“A nice surprise?”

“Yeah, exactly.” Louis nodded and smiled, then reached up to brush one of Harry’s curls off his forehead. “Are you okay though? I don’t want you to be uncomfortable. I know they’re kind of… a lot on a normal day.”

Harry nodded and took a deep breath. “I’m nervous. Like… I don’t know… I’m not sure how to…”

“What’d I say earlier? Follow my lead. And don’t worry. It’s not like you’re going to screw anything up. Just act like you’re in love with me. Shouldn’t be difficult since I’m your favorite person.”

Shouldn’t be difficult except that he’d pretty much been in love with Louis for two years and he’d spent those two years trying _not_ to act like it. Harry reached up and flicked the end of Louis’ nose. “Yeah, okay.” 

Louis let go of Harry’s waist and laid his hand on Harry’s shoulder, gave it a gentle squeeze, then ran his hand down Harry’s arm and grabbed his hand. “Everyone’s downstairs in the den, come on.” He walked out of the kitchen pulling Harry behind him. 

The lights were dim in the basement den and the light from the television flickered over the walls. Louis’ sisters were all cuddled up together on the couch, and his mom and stepdad were sitting on the smaller sofa with the twins napping in their laps. Louis walked straight for the only seat left, the big, squishy armchair in the corner. He let go of Harry’s hand and plopped down into the chair, but Harry remained standing.

“Hi, Harry,” Louis’ mom whispered and waved at him from across the room, then gestured to the sleeping babies with a smile. “I’ll greet you properly later.”

Harry waved back and bit his bottom lip while he looked around for a place to sit. He was just about to sit on the floor when Louis grabbed his wrist and pulled him down into the chair with him. There wasn’t enough room for two people, so Harry ended up mostly on Louis’ lap. He sat stiffly, his back completely straight, and his hands clasped in his lap, even though his entire body wanted to curl itself up in Louis’ lap.

“Get comfy, baby. The movie has like an hour left to go.” Louis ran his hand down Harry’s back, smoothing his shirt, and rubbing his thumb in circles above Harry’s hip. Apparently that was all it took because Harry slumped over and rested his head on Louis’ shoulder. He was tired. The long drive and the stress of the entire situation had exhausted him. Within a few minutes he’d fallen asleep in Louis’ lap and didn’t move until the movie was over and the noise of all of Louis’ siblings running upstairs woke him up.

Harry slowly sat up and blinked his eyes as he looked around the now empty room. He wiped the back of his hand across his mouth and started to blush when he looked at Louis’ shirt. He clambered off of his lap and stood up, stammering, “Sorry. I, umm, drooled on you.”

Louis pulled on his shirt and looked down. “Ehh, not the worst bodily fluid I’ve had on me.”

Harry rolled his eyes and held his hand out for Louis to grab and when he did, he pulled him up out of the chair. He tried to loosen his hold on Louis’ fingers, but Louis held on tight and led him up the stairs.

“You want to go lie down?”

“Um… No. I’m awake now. Hungry though.”

“Mom’s ordering pizza. She always says she’s got enough cooking to do.”

“Can’t believe I fell asleep. Great boyfriending skills I’ve got.”

“Shut up. It was cute. Should’ve seen the way my mom smiled at you when you started snoring.”

Harry stopped in the hallway and their connected hands jerked Louis back to him. “Did I really snore?”

“Yeah, ’course you did. You always do.”

“Shut up. I do not.”

“Whatever, Harold. It wasn’t loud.” Louis stopped by the kitchen to grab a couple of beers, then pulled Harry into the living room where everyone had gathered. The younger kids were sitting on cushions on the floor, with everyone else on the couch or in chairs around the coffee table. Louis squeezed himself into the space between Lottie and the arm of the couch, and patted his lap, but Harry shook his head slightly and sat down on the floor between Louis’ legs. 

He turned to look over his shoulder and Louis stuck his bottom lip out in an exaggerated pout. “I don’t want to fall asleep again.” Louis nodded once and leaned back into the couch cushion. He started to purposely jostle Harry’s shoulders with his knees, so Harry turned his head and bit down on the inside of Louis’ thigh. He stopped moving his legs after that. 

Harry took a deep breath and looked around the room to find that almost every person was watching him. A flush immediately started to creep up his neck and he remembered that he’d hardly even said a proper hello to anyone before he’d fallen asleep downstairs, and now he’d just bitten Louis’ leg in front of everyone, and still hadn’t spoken to anyone but Louis since he’d woken up from his impromptu nap.

He cleared his throat and looked up at Louis’ mom. “Hi, Jay. Sorry, I fell asleep—”

“Don’t apologize, Harry. You were obviously tired.” She smiled at him indulgently and continued, “I’m glad you’re here. We all knew you were the mysterious boyfriend. Louis always thinks he’s sneaky, but he’s not. He’s always been obvious about you—”

“Mom! Stop it. I have not,” Louis huffed and Harry looked around at him just in time to see him cross his arms and roll his eyes, cheeks pink and eyes shining. He met Harry’s eyes and looked away, but the grin on his face stayed put. 

Harry patted Louis’ knee, turned back to Jay, and said, “Thanks for having me. I know it was short notice.”

“You’re always welcome, sweetie. I hope you know that.” 

Harry smiled at her and nodded, then stilled when he felt Louis’ hand in his hair. Louis scratched at Harry’s scalp and twirled his hair around his fingers, letting the curls slip through, then combed them back again. 

Their traditional Dominos Pizza delivery arrived and they all ate off of napkins, still sitting around the coffee table, making predictions about the chances of snow on Christmas, and discussing the upcoming football games, which surprised Harry. He had no idea that Louis knew a thing about football, let alone had a favorite team. He never watched at home. 

Harry stood up and stretched, not really thinking about the fact that Louis was directly behind him and that his ass was pretty much face level, until Louis pinched it and Harry yelped and spun around, blood rushing to his face and neck so fast that it was a wonder he didn’t feel lightheaded.

Louis smirked up at him and winked. Again. His right eyelid was getting a workout and they’d only arrived a few hours ago. Harry narrowed his eyes at him and silently vowed to get revenge. How, he wasn’t sure, but it would have to be embarrassing, and he was almost certain that nothing he could say or do to Louis would embarrass him in front of his family.

In the meantime, he turned back around and bent over to pick up the empty pizza boxes from the table. He made sure to wiggle his ass a little bit, just for good measure, before following Lottie into the kitchen to help clean up, despite Jay’s protests. 

Louis leaned against the kitchen counter and watched Harry and Lottie work together to clean up the little bit of mess that was left from dinner. He washed the few dishes that were in the sink, she dried, and then handed them off to Louis who tried to claim that he was simply there as an observer. 

“Louis, Harry is your guest. And your boyfriend.” Jay nudged his shoulder until he stepped over to Lottie and helped put away the last couple of glasses. “You should want to help him.”

“He likes this stuff.” Louis pulled the dish towel from Harry’s hand and snapped it at his bum, then tossed it onto the counter before looping his arm around Harry’s waist and pulling him back against his chest. He rested his chin on Harry’s shoulder and said, “You should see him at home, mom. He cleans on a schedule.”

“Doesn’t mean I don’t like you to help, Lou.” Harry nodded and tilted his head to the side so that his temple rested on Louis’ hair. He blinked slowly and lifted his head. It was too easy to pretend this was real since his instinct was always to touch Louis, to get closer to him, to relax against him. It was almost impossible to fight it normally, but he was used to forcing himself to take a step back or to _not_ reach out. Just a few hours into pretending they were dating and Harry knew that going back home meant going back to hiding his feelings, and he knew it was going to be difficult. But so much of him just didn’t care. If he couldn’t have Louis for real, he’d take what he could get, even if that meant throwing himself completely into this fake boyfriend thing. He’d deal with the fallout later. 

Louis’ chin dug into Harry’s shoulder and he tightened his hold around Harry’s waist when he muttered, “I’ll help more at home. I’m sorry. Forgive me?”

“’Course, babe.” Harry patted Louis’ arms and rested his hands on top of Louis’, letting himself enjoy the feeling of Louis’ warm body against his back.

“See.” Jay pointed at Louis and then Harry and started to shoo them out of the kitchen, so they shuffled past her without separating, while Louis giggled against Harry’s back. “Now, go on. The girls took your bags upstairs.”

They both stilled and Louis released his hold on Harry. “I was going to sleep on the couch downstairs.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Boo. You two live together. I’m not making you sleep on the couch.” Jay rolled her eyes and smiled and gently pushed them out of the kitchen.

Once they were alone in the hall, Louis turned around, clearly nervous, and whispered, “I… I didn’t think…”

“It’s fine, Lou,” Harry murmured. “Not like we’ve never slept in the same bed. Just the first time we’ll both be sober and without the cold as an excuse.” Acting nonchalant about the whole thing almost made him feel less anxious about it. Maybe that would be a good way to treat things every time something uncomfortable came up while they were here for Christmas. There was something to be said for false bravado in certain situations. Hopefully the more he acted the part, the easier it would be.

Louis held his lower lip between his sharp teeth and his eyes searched Harry’s face for a few seconds. “Yeah, alright.”

“Lead the way.” Harry pointed towards the stairs and Louis climbed them, looking back over his shoulder a few times as if he thought Harry would disappear.

Their bags were sitting on the floor just inside the room and after he closed the door behind him, Harry squatted down to unzip his bag and look for his toothbrush. “This your old bedroom?”

“Nah.” Louis shook his head. “Well, sort of. It was my room, but my mom redid it when I moved out so she could have an actual guest room.” He walked over and pulled open the door to the attached bathroom. “Only room other than the master that has a bathroom. Though it does have a door to the hall, so lock it unless you want someone walking in on you.”

Harry chuckled and slipped past Louis into the bathroom. With the door closed, he could let his smile drop off of his face. He brushed his teeth while trying not to think about how much this fake boyfriend thing was going to fuck up his real friendship with Louis. There didn’t seem to be a way out now though. 

By the time Louis finished in the bathroom, Harry had stripped down to his boxers and t-shirt and was under the covers, facing away from the door. He heard Louis’ feet padding across the floor, shivered as the cool air of the room seeped under the blanket when Louis lifted it up, and felt the mattress dip when Louis climbed into the bed behind him. It was easier to pretend to have already fallen asleep than to make awkward conversation with Louis while they laid side by side in the dark and tried not to touch each other. And he really was tired, he could feel himself drifting off almost as soon as Louis settled down, the bed stopped moving, and their combined body heat warmed him again. Just as he succumbed to sleep, the thought flitted across his mind that Louis probably knew he wasn’t actually asleep because he wasn’t snoring, but he had let Harry pretend.

« »

Harry’s eyes flew open. He had no idea what had woken him. It was quiet in the house, and it was early. The light coming through the window had that pink sunrise tint to it. He blinked and the previous day came rushing back, memories flooding his mind all at once. He was at Louis’ parents’ house, he was pretending to be Louis’ boyfriend, and he and Louis had fallen asleep with what felt like miles of mattress between them. He was still in bed. And so was Louis, if the weight on his back was anything to go by.

He could probably get up without disturbing Louis. Just slowly work his way to the left until Louis’ body dropped into the warm spot Harry left behind, but he didn’t want to. He was half-hard, for one thing, and any kind of shifting of his hips—whether to aid in his escape from the bed or not—would just exacerbate the problem. And, well, he was comfortable, Louis was warm, and it wasn’t as if Harry’d get to do this forever. Louis’ quiet breaths huffed against Harry’s shoulder in a slow rhythm that gently lulled Harry back to sleep. 

The next time Harry opened his eyes, it appeared to be a much more reasonable hour, and Louis was still draped over his back. Except this time, Harry was pretty sure he knew what had woken him up. Little humming moans escaped Louis’ mouth and went almost directly into Harry’s ear. His head was resting on Harry’s upper back, his left arm and left leg were thrown completely over Harry’s body, and his dick was hard against Harry’s hip. Louis was still asleep—his leg and arm lay heavy and mostly unmoving except for the occasional twitch—but he was slowly rutting against Harry and the friction was making his skin tingle. 

He wasn’t sure what the protocol was for when the fake boyfriend with whom he was sharing a bed accidentally humped him in his sleep, but he didn’t want to spend anymore time thinking about it. The longer he laid there, the harder he got, and the pressure on his dick where it was trapped between his body and the mattress wasn’t helping. 

Harry blinked and let his eyes adjust to the light, then looked around the room as if he would find something there to help him. The only option that he could see would be to turn this back around on Louis. After all, he was the one trying to rub one off against Harry’s leg in his sleep. Harry was completely innocent. So that’s how he decided to play it. 

Louis’ breathing was still slow and even, so Harry closed his eyes, matched their inhales and exhales, and very quickly, yet firmly, shifted his hips to the side, pressing on Louis’ erection hard enough to shock him out of his slumber. Louis shuffled backwards away from Harry in a hurry, making the mattress move enough that Harry could pretend that was what had woken him up.

He yawned and stretched, ignoring his own hard on, pushed himself up onto his elbows and looked over at Louis who was doing an absolutely horrible job of faking sleep. Harry watched him for a few seconds before he noticed that Louis was literally holding his breath, then he climbed out of bed and hurried into the bathroom before Louis died from lack of oxygen or could pretend to wake up as well. 

With his back to the closed bathroom door, Harry let out a quiet chuckle, then leaned forward to get a good look at himself in the mirror. His hair was out of control, but the bulge in his boxer briefs was obscene. While he turned on the shower with one hand, he pushed his underwear down with the other, and was already stroking himself before he stepped into the warm water.

It wasn’t the first time he’d jacked off to thoughts of Louis, it wasn’t even the first time he’d done it with Louis in the next room, but it was definitely the first time that he thought it was possible that Louis was doing the same thing. He hoped he was. Not only that, but in the bed that they’d slept in together. Whether Louis was thinking of him while he jerked off was debatable, but Harry pushed that thought aside and concentrated on getting himself off as quickly and quietly as possible. 

« »

While Louis took his turn in the shower, Harry followed the smell of freshly brewed coffee to the kitchen where he found Jay with a giant mixing bowl in one hand and a whisk in the other. 

“Good morning,” Jay greeted him with a smile, then she nodded towards the coffee pot. “I’m making Louis’ cake for later. If you want to wait a few, I’ll throw some breakfast together for you.”

“You don’t have to do that. I don’t have to eat right now.” He poured his coffee and took a deep breath, closing his eyes and taking a sip. “I can help with the cake. Or I can help with breakfast. Anything you need, really. I’m good in a kitchen.”

“Really?” Jay stopped whisking and tilted her head, then pushed the mixing bowl onto the counter next to Harry. “Okay. Well, I’ve got the dry ingredients mixed and everything else is already out and ready to go.” She pulled an old, worn index card from her apron pocket and set it next to the bowl. “That’s the recipe. You do that and I’ll do breakfast. Anything you don’t like to eat?”

Harry hummed thoughtfully while he looked over the recipe. “Sea urchin.”

“Sea urchin?”

“Yeah. Had it once when I was out for sushi with… umm, with a friend. It was one of those ‘you have to try this’ things, so I tried it. Never again.” Harry couldn’t help the disgusted face he made at the memory. “But, um, I’ll eat pretty much anything else.”

“You got it.” Jay laughed quietly and started to pull eggs and bacon out of the fridge. “I’ll leave the seafood out of the omelets.”

The cake came together easily. Harry’d made enough cakes in his short baking career, as he liked to refer to the weekend job he held while in high school, and he always baked cakes for his friends’ and family’s birthdays. Louis made fun of him, but stress baking was kind of his thing, so this worked out perfectly. While he whisked and beat and mixed, he couldn’t really worry about Louis and whatever this mess was that he found himself in. He could focus on baking and forget everything else. 

He slid the cake pans into the preheated oven, set the timer, and started washing up while Jay finished making breakfast. Cooking enough for for ten people was a chore. Just watching her was impressive and when it hit him that she was only making breakfast, he couldn’t stop himself from offering to help with whatever she had planned for Christmas.

When breakfast was over and Harry immediately got up to help Jay clean up the dishes, Louis hopped out of his seat to follow him into the kitchen. Harry loaded the dishwasher and watched Louis from the corner of his eye. He was leaning against the wall, staying out of the way, until Jay left the room.

“They already love you, you know.” Louis stepped away from the wall and reached past Harry to start the dishwasher. “You don’t have to impress them.” 

Harry rolled his eyes. “No way, man. If I’m doing this, I’m doing it right. Next up, I’m decorating your birthday cake.”

Louis scowled at him for a second. “Don’t draw any dicks on it.”

“As if I would do that. _You_ don’t draw any dicks on it.” Harry scowled back at him and lifted his chin, then backed up to the counter where he’d put the ingredients. “Now I feel like I have to keep an eye on the frosting.”

Louis followed him, chewing his lip and nodding his head. “Yeah, that does sound like something I would do.” He took another step closer and Harry realized that he was pretty much trapped. If Louis was going to try to sabotage the frosting, Harry would have to guard it with his body. He crossed his arms in front of his chest to hopefully prevent Louis from being able to reach his most ticklish spots, and he did it just in time because as soon as he moved, Louis darted forward, hands out, in tickle attack mode. 

Louis grabbed Harry’s arms and tried to uncross them, pulled on them to get him to let go, both of them cackling because they both knew where it was headed. If Harry didn’t successfully protect himself from Louis, he’d end up on the floor, probably with butter and sugar all over the room. 

“You’re never going to win, Harry. Should just give up now.” Louis dug his fingers behind Harry’s arm, wiggling them until he reached Harry’s armpit, and Harry was just about to lose it completely when Lottie cleared her throat from the doorway. Harry uncrossed his arms and let them fall to his sides and Louis stepped closer, dropping his hands down to Harry’s hips. They were practically face to face and hip to hip and Harry hadn’t even noticed it happening. He’d been too busy protecting his room temperature butter. 

“You guys are cute, but you’re blocking the fridge.” Lottie elbowed Louis and he tripped over Harry’s foot, falling into him, and Harry caught him around the waist. Lottie grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and shut it, but stood there looking at them with her lips pursed for a second. “Keep it PG in the kitchen, please.”

“You’re not the boss of us, Lots. We can do whatever we want,” Louis said without taking his eyes off Harry, then he winked at him and that was all the warning Harry got before Louis kissed him. It probably would have been the most chaste kiss in history if Harry hadn’t been so fucking shocked that his mouth literally fell open, which Louis apparently took as his cue to suck Harry’s lip between his own. It was over in a few seconds, but Harry’s heart was racing like he’d just sprinted a mile, and he felt hot and sweaty all over. 

“Gross.” Lottie threw the lid to her water bottle at Louis’ head and it bounced off the target. 

Louis took a step back, not meeting Harry’s eyes, turned to Lottie and said, “Fuck off.” 

“Whatever, Lewis.” She shot him the bird and leaned sideways until Harry tilted his head and raised his eyebrows at her. “You’re coming with me, Harry. As soon as you finish the frosting, we’ve got to run to the store for something.”

“You guys are making him work. That’s not fair.” Louis wiggled between Harry and the fridge, sliding his arm around Harry’s back until his hand rested on Harry’s hip and he gave it a gentle squeeze. “He’s here to be with me, not run errands and clean and bake and whatever else.”

“We’re going to buy something for you birthday.”

“Oh, well, in that case…” Louis reached for the bowl of butter, grabbed it, and pushed it into Harry’s hands. He winked at Harry again and Harry wasn’t sure what to expect, he hadn’t yet recovered from their earlier kiss. His lips were still tingly. Slowly, Louis lifted his hand to stroke his thumb across Harry’s bottom lip. “Get busy, baby, you’ve got to go run errands with my sister.” 

All Harry could do was nod. He was positive that his entire face was bright red and he hoped that Lottie just thought he was embarrassed by Louis kissing him in front of her. Not that she’d suspect they were faking it. That was such an absurd notion, he was sure Louis was the only person in the known universe to come up with such a ridiculous plan. 

Finally left alone in the kitchen, Harry quickly mixed the butter, sugar, and milk, then scooped out a small amount into a separate bowl. He added a little bit of blue food coloring to that and mixed it well. It didn’t take him long at all to fill and frost the cake and in no time he was snipping the corner off of a plastic baggie so that he could pipe ‘Happy Birthday, Louis!’ across the top of the cake and add some little decorative blobs of frosting around the bottom edge of the cake.

Harry covered the cake and quickly cleaned up the mess he’d made, then ran upstairs to get ready to go to the store with Lottie. He’d been concentrating on decorating the cake and hadn’t given himself a chance to be nervous about hanging out with Lottie one on one. They'd always gotten along really well, she was the coolest girl he knew next to his own sister, and briefly the idea fluttered through his mind that she and Gemma would make fast friends. He shook his head and sighed as he rifled through his bag for a clean shirt. There was no way he’d ask Gemma to lie for him, and within moments of meeting, he was sure that Lottie would find out the truth about the nature of his relationship with Louis. They couldn’t be friends. 

In a fresh, frosting-free t-shirt and a heavy purple sweater, Harry made his way downstairs, sat on the bottom step, and was pulling on his boots, when Louis came around the corner, looking slightly nervous.

“Hey, um, Lottie went to warm up the car.” Louis bit his lip and looked away. “Sorry about before.”

Harry stood up and reached for his coat on the rack behind Louis. “What about?” 

“I, um… I think I took you by surprise with that kiss and I…” He finally looked back at Harry and said, “Sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”

The idea that this was all a big joke to Louis had crossed Harry’s mind more than once in the last twenty-four hours. But his tone of voice and the expression on his face said something different. They were in this together, and at the end of the day, or the end of this… farce, they were still best friends. “Don’t be. It’s alright. I’m not mad.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, I mean, your skills are lacking, but points for trying, I guess.” Harry grinned and winked obnoxiously, then reached into his pocket for his scarf, ignoring the choked scoffing sound coming from Louis. He draped the scarf around his neck, then looked down to dig around in his other pockets for his beanie. His fingers brushed against the soft fabric of his favorite winter hat and he was pulling it free when what seemed like a million things happened at once: the front door swung open and let in a burst of frigid air, Lottie called out that she was ready to go, and Louis yanked him forward by both ends of his scarf. Harry stumbled into him, Louis’ hands pressed against his chest, and they were kissing. Soft and sweet and warm and tasting slightly of frosting. Harry hummed quietly and started to sink into it, but his brain screeched to a halt, and he pulled back. “Frosting! Lou, damn it.” 

Louis laughed and gently wrapped Harry’s scarf back around his neck properly, then tugged his hat down, making sure his ears were covered. He fastened some of the buttons on Harry’s coat, smoothed the front of it, and muttered, “Tell me my kissing skills are lacking.”

“Sorry.” Harry sucked his bottom lip between his teeth and stared at Louis, trying to read his expression. His eyes searched Louis’ face and he watched Louis’ cheeks turn pinker by the second. Without thinking about it, he started to lean in again.

A loud, unmistakably fake cough cut through the silence, and both of their heads whipped around towards the front door where Lottie was looking at them with her arms crossed and her toe tapping against the floor.

“Sorry, Lots,” Louis said, and gave Harry a little shove. He followed her out into the cold, turning around and catching Louis watching him as he pulled the door closed. 

He hurried to the car and climbed into the passenger seat, sliding it back to make room for his legs. “Um, sorry again. I know it’s probably weird to see—”

Lottie cackled and pulled out of the driveway, then took off down the road. “It’s not weird. I mean, we’ve all been waiting for this to happen, you know?”

“No…”

She glanced over at Harry, then looked back at the road and was quiet for a while before she said, “Well, I guess it’s not really my place… I don’t know what made you guys decide to stop fucking around and get together and I don’t know what, um… what’s been discussed between you guys.”

“Yeah, okay. We just… I’m sorry if we made you uncomfortable.”

“No, Harry, seriously. I think you guys are adorable. Don’t tell Louis I said that, but you are.”

“Thanks,” Harry whispered. He could feel himself blushing and was thankful that Lottie was concentrating on the road. He bit his lip and adjusted his beanie, wondering how obvious he’d been, if Lottie and evidently the entire family had been aware of his feelings for Louis. 

The only thing keeping him from opening the door to the car and jumping out into the middle of the street was the certainty that Louis had no idea how Harry felt about him. There was no way that Louis would behave the way he’d been acting this weekend so far if he knew, and he would never have asked Harry to come with him and pretend to be his boyfriend. 

He watched the twinkly lights on the houses as they drove out of the neighborhood and let himself think about some unknown future where he lived some place like this, with houses and yards and families, where people hung lights on the eaves of their houses and baked cookies for their neighbors and maybe even went caroling. 

After a moment, he realized that he was probably being too quiet, and while it was nice that he could enjoy a comfortable silence with Lottie, it probably wasn’t the best way to behave as Louis’ new boyfriend. He cleared his throat and asked, “So, what do you guys normally do for Lou’s birthday?”

“Oh, well, it’s been a bit different since the babies were born.”

“Yeah, how?”

“Well, um, when he was younger and still lived here, he always wanted like, nothing Christmas on his birthday. One year, he even convinced mom not to put the tree up until Christmas Day. He just never liked mixing the two, you know? Like, he didn’t get to have his day otherwise. But since the babies came, he’s been kind of the opposite.”

“Really?”

She nodded and looked over at Harry with a smile, “We do his birthday stuff earlier in the day because he insists on everyone going to the big tree lighting in town. They have hot cocoa, this huge tree, there’s music, and this Santa who just… He looks like the real thing. And Louis literally insists on doing it all. It’s pretty fun, actually.” Lottie carefully pulled into a parking space near the entrance to the only open store in town.

Harry climbed out of the car and they walked towards the entrance. “Sounds like a lot. Busy day, I guess.”

“It is. Mom does a lot of cooking early in the day, then we do his birthday stuff when she’s finished. I’m shit in the kitchen or I’d help her more than I do.” Lottie tugged her gloves off and shoved them in her pocket. “Tell you what though, she’s thrilled to have you helping.”

“I like it. I mean, I’m happy to help, but it’s fun for me.”

“Good to know because I’m pretty sure she’s going to rope you into making the pies.”

Harry laughed and pushed the cart over to the produce section. “What are we even here for? Something for Lou? You said he couldn’t come.”

“Oh, not really. We need some candles for his cake, but I just wanted to get you alone for a bit.”

“What for?”

“Not sure.” Lottie stopped and grabbed a bag of potatoes. “Mom said the potatoes at the house were bad.”

“Okay…”

“I just wanted to… I don’t know. I guess I wanted to make sure you were serious about my brother. Can't have you breaking his heart.”

A short laugh shot out of Harry’s mouth before he could stop it. “You have nothing to worry about. His heart is perfectly safe.”

Lottie turned and looked at him for a few seconds, tilted her head and scrunched up her nose. “Yeah, I guess it is.” She reached up for two bottles of wine and set them in the cart, then led the way to the candles. 

The rest of their shopping trip was kind of a blur and so was the drive back to the house. All Harry could think about was what Louis had said when he’d first invented his fake relationship, when it was just Louis and some figment of his imagination, before he’d brought Harry into it and tangled him up in this whole thing: by mid-January, he’d tell his family that they’d broken up. 

Harry wondered if Louis had even thought that far ahead, if he’d considered that breaking up with a nonexistent boyfriend would be a lot easier to explain than breaking up with his best friend and roommate, if it had occurred to him yet that this fake relationship was going to be a lot more complicated to end than simply saying it was over. He’d have to talk to Louis about it the next time they got a few minutes alone together. If Harry got his way—which he felt like he deserved since he was the one doing Louis a favor—when Louis told his family that they’d broken up, he was going to have to make it clear that Harry wasn’t the one doing the breaking.

« »

Harry closed the door to the oven and set the timer, wiped the sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand, and leaned back against the counter to drink a glass of water. As much as he loved cooking and baking, it was messy and sweaty work, and it looked like he was going to have to take a second shower if he was supposed to leave the house later. He’d finally managed to convince Jay to leave him alone in the kitchen, and she’d taken the opportunity to take a shower and a nap before they brought out the cake and presents for Louis’ birthday. 

Harry was just finishing his second glass of water when Jay walked into the kitchen with Louis right behind her. 

“Thank you so much, Harry,” she said, and pulled the oven door open a crack to peek inside, then turned to him and smiled. “They look amazing. Should let you do the pies every Christmas from here on out.”

Harry nodded and tried to smile, but he knew it probably looked forced. Every time he thought that maybe he’d figured out a way to unwrap himself from this mess with the least amount of damage, he found himself deeper and more entangled than he’d imagined possible. The list of things he’d never considered when he’d agreed to this fake boyfriend thing was getting longer and longer. 

Of course serious boyfriends who’ve been best friends since they met and have lived together for a year don’t just break up after a few months of dating without ruining everything. 

He could feel the panic rising inside him as thoughts ricocheted around inside his head. One of them would have to move out of their apartment, Louis’ family would probably hate him no matter what reason Louis gave them for their imminent break up, the friendship that he’d come to rely on as a cornerstone of his life would slowly fizzle and fade away…

“Hey,” Louis murmured as he appeared in Harry’s line of sight and stepped in closer. “You okay?”

Harry took a shaky breath and shook his head slightly, trying to keep his focus on Louis, and trying to pretend that Jay wasn’t watching him from across the room, concern plain on her face. He concentrated on Louis’ eyes, then shifted his gaze up slightly to his hair where it fell across his forehead, and without thinking about it, he reached up to brush it to the side so that he could see both of Louis’ eyes without interference.

“Take a deep breath, baby,” Louis said quietly and laid one palm on Harry’s chest. He slid his hand down until it rested right over Harry’s butterfly tattoo, then he took a deep breath and watched as Harry did too, making Louis’ hand move. After a minute or two of paying attention to his breathing and to Louis, Harry felt a little bit better. He nodded quickly and leaned down to rest his forehead on Louis’ shoulder. 

They stood there in the kitchen, Harry’s face tucked into Louis’ neck, Louis’ hands slowly stroking up and down Harry’s back, until Harry felt mostly normal again. He couldn’t stop worrying about losing Louis, but he could ignore it like it was his job. 

“Sorry, Lou,” Harry muttered against Louis’ neck and just saying those words made his eyes sting. He closed them tight and told himself that he wasn’t ruining their weekend.

Louis shushed him and moved his hands down Harry’s back, bringing them to rest above the waist of his jeans and locking his fingers together. Louis turned his head and placed a gentle kiss on Harry’s ear. “Don’t apologize. You’ve been doing too much, I think. Look at me?” 

Harry raised his head and Louis leaned back a bit, eyes darting back and forth like he was searching Harry’s face for something. “What?” Harry whispered.

“You’ve got flour in your hair.” Louis grinned and gently tugged a few of Harry’s curls down until they were right in front of his eyes. “See? You’re disgusting, Harold.”

“You are.” Harry stuck out his tongue and rolled his eyes.

Louis let go of Harry’s hair, but didn’t drop his hand. Instead, he cupped Harry’s jaw and leaned in, placing a gentle, lingering kiss on the corner of Harry’s mouth before dropping his hand from Harry’s waist and linking their hands together. 

“What was that for?” 

Louis tipped his head sideways and silently mouthed, “Mom.”

“She’s been gone a while.”

“Oh, well, um… Sorry.”

“Don’t be. It was nice.” Harry bit his bottom lip and squeezed Louis’ hand, then, before he could second guess himself, he brushed Louis’ hair off his forehead again and kissed him, lips parted just enough that he could feel Louis’ sharp inhale. It was as if he’d literally sucked the air out of Harry’s lungs. He squeezed Louis’ hand again, then dropped it, and said over his shoulder as he walked out of the room, “I’m gonna shower.” 

He didn’t know what had come over him. The fear of losing Louis completely and the realization that it was likely to happen no matter what had changed something in him. The notion that it was all going to disappear, that his entire life was going to be fucked up because of this, had set something off inside of Harry, and it felt like a fundamental shift in perspective, and he had the sudden urge to play his part so well that he was unforgettable. This fake boyfriend act would be his magnum opus. He’d be the boyfriend who all of Louis’ future boyfriends were compared to, and he was determined that none of them would ever measure up. 

« »

The white noise of the shower relaxed Harry and when he finally stepped out and dried off, he felt like he was back to his usual self. 

Louis’ birthday with his family wasn’t a party, not really, it was just a late lunch with cake and presents, and then, according to Lottie, they’d all pile into the big van and drive down to the tree lighting. 

Harry dressed carefully. He’d brought a few things just in case they’d have to go out or something while they were visiting, and he was thankful he’d thought of it because he knew exactly what he was going to wear, but then he saw the pile of clothes that Louis had dumped out of his bag and onto the bed and he changed his mind. His tight black jeans and black boots were fine, but he took his black button up shirt off and pulled on Louis’ oversized, deep red sweater instead. 

Louis’ birthday gift was downstairs with the rest of the presents they’d brought with them. It had seemed like a silly little thing when he’d bought it, an inside joke almost because Louis had been dropping stupid, obvious ‘hints’ about what he wanted for his birthday and Harry had ignored every single one. There was no way he was getting Louis a new PlayStation or a forty-two inch television. Instead, he listened and paid attention to the little things, so after Louis opened all of his birthday gifts from his sisters and his parents, he opened Harry’s to find a soft, thick, fluffy blue bathrobe, embroidered with his initials in green. 

He lifted it out of the box and held it up to inspect it, then a wide grin spread across his face. “Is this—”

“Matches mine that you keep stealing, yeah. Opposite colors though,” Harry said as he traced his fingers over the letters.

Fizzy burst out laughing. “You guys have matching bathrobes? Seriously?”

Harry felt his face heat instantly. It’d started as a joke when Louis had bought Harry’s for his birthday in February and had included a ten-pack of briefs in the package as well. He’d said, “I’m tired of seeing your bare ass every day of my life, Harold,” and had draped the soft fabric over Harry’s shoulders with a laugh. Harry’d ordered Louis’ to match months ago, but now…

“Shut it, Fiz,” Louis said, pointing at her and frowning, then he turned back to look at Harry. “I love it, baby. It’s perfect.” 

And then Harry’s face was warm and flushed for a different reason because Louis leaned over and planted a big, smacking kiss on Harry’s lips, right there in front of his entire family. 

Harry was still blushing while they cleaned up the mess of wrapping paper and stacked up Louis’ birthday presents to take out to the car later. The back of his neck was sweaty and more than once, he pulled the hem of his sweater out to let cool air underneath it. He was to the point that he thought he might have to shower a third time just to lessen the pink tint of his entire face and neck when Louis stepped up behind him and asked him to go upstairs. 

As soon as they walked through the door to the bedroom, Harry yanked his sweater and undershirt off and went into the bathroom to splash cold water on his face. Louis stood by the bed watching him, Harry could see him in the mirror, but he ignored Louis and reminded himself that he’d decided to say fuck it all and just _be_ Louis’ boyfriend for the weekend. No more faking, at least not on Harry’s end, no more second guessing his every move, no more following Louis’ lead. 

“This is mine,” Louis said and looked down at the deep red sweater that Harry had thrown onto the bed.

Harry finally met his eyes in the mirror. “Yeah, I know.” He swiped more deodorant under his arms, then met Louis in the middle of the bedroom. “If I’m your boyfriend, I’m wearing your clothes. It's how I roll.”

Louis snorted and said, “How you roll? Is the whole blushing, stammering, embarrassed thing just a part of how you roll?”

“No.” Harry snatched the sweater from Louis’ hand and tossed it back on the bed. He wasn’t putting it back on until he absolutely had to and the bare skin of his chest and back were happier that way. His sweat had cooled and he almost wished he could just go shirtless to the tree lighting. “What’d you want? Why’d we come up here?”

“Well, that’s just the thing…” Louis stepped a little closer so that there was only a few feet of space between them. “We’re supposed to be serious, right? We live together, but the way you react whenever I’m, like… affectionate with you…”

_“My_ skills are _not_ lacking, Louis.”

Louis rolled his eyes and stepped even closer. “No, they’re not. Um… I just thought you might want to… not freak out everytime I touch you or, um… kiss you.”

“I’m not used to it, Lou.” Harry lowered his voice to a whisper and continued, “It’s not like we’re actually dating. I don’t have a lot of experience kissing you or having a fake boyfriend. All of this is… new.”

“Yeah, I know. Sorry…” Louis looked down at his hands and laced them together, then without looking up, he muttered, “Don’t worry, we’ll fake break up soon enough.”

“I need… Shit. Okay. I need for you to make sure that your family doesn’t like… hate me after this. You have to make it so the break-up is your fault. Please. I mean, earlier at the store, Lottie literally warned me not to break your heart.”

“Did she?” Louis asked quietly. “What’d you say to that?”

Harry reached up and shoved Louis’ shoulder. “I said your stupid heart was safe with me. Now promise me that you’ll fix things so that your family still loves me when this is all over.”

“Yeah. Okay.” Louis held his hand out for Harry and they hooked their pinkies together. “Promise.”

“Thanks, Lou.” Harry squeezed Louis’ finger, then dropped it. “Now why did we come up here?”

“Oh, um… I thought you might want to practice.”

“Practice what?”

“Well, like you said, this is all new, um… for both of us. And I thought if we practiced, you wouldn’t get so freaked out every time we touch or kiss in front of my family.”

“Oh…” Harry’s brain screeched to a halt, but then he reminded himself: _no more faking._ He nodded and before Louis could take the lead, he closed the distance between them, draping his arms over Louis’ shoulders, letting one fall down until his hand was between Louis’ shoulder blades, and sliding his other hand up so that it rested on the back of Louis’ neck, his thumb playing in the short hair there. It was easy to pull Louis in and kiss him like he’d always wanted to, but had never imagined he’d be able to. 

For once, it seemed that he’d been the one to take Louis by surprise when he gasped. _No more faking._ Harry parted his lips and slipped his tongue inside, tilted Louis’ head with his hand on the back of his neck, and pressed in closer. His brain finally caught up, so he backed off a little, and gently placed another kiss on Louis’ lips. Louis’ arms were tight around his waist, hands flat against the bare skin of his back, holding Harry in place, so that even when he leaned away, he wasn’t going anywhere.

Harry kissed Louis’ cheek, then dropped his hand down and patted his ass twice. “Good practice. See you for the game later?” He winked when Louis finally opened his eyes and looked at him, then he was doing everything he could to protect himself from Louis’ hands as he poked and tickled and pinched him everywhere he could reach.

Louis managed to catch Harry’s nipple and pinched it and Harry couldn’t help the whine that escaped his mouth. “Alright, Harold?” Louis smirked and raised his eyebrows, looking about as smug as Harry’d ever seen him.

“Fuck you.” Harry said and grabbed for his undershirt to cover his nipples.

“Nah, I doubt we need to practice that. Wouldn’t be doing it in front of my family, that’s for sure.”

« »

The trip to the tree lighting was a short one, in fact, Harry thought it might’ve been faster to walk considering the time it took to warm up the van, to strap the twins into their car seats, to get everyone into the van after Lottie ran back inside for her lipstick, and Fizzy remembered her scarf was on the couch, and Harry—blushing so hard that he thought maybe he didn’t even need it—realized he forgot his hat. All of that, then finding a parking space large enough to accommodate the van, and they definitely could’ve walked.

It was just after five o’clock and the sky was starting to darken when they all climbed out of the van and made their way through the crowded parking lot into the large park where the tree lighting took place. If they thought the crowd outside was bad, inside the park was worse. There were people everywhere, and as soon as they made it past the gate, four older girls had gone off in one direction, Louis’ parents had taken the twins off towards the large inflatable bouncy houses, and within a few minutes, Harry had lost track of Louis and his entire family. He stood there, slowly turning in a circle, and wondering if he ought to just walk back to the van or even to the house, when Louis appeared in front of him.

Louis grasped both of Harry’s arms and stopped him from spinning. “Where’d you disappear to?”

“I… I was right here.”

“Come on. Let’s get hot chocolate.” Louis pulled him forward and let go of one of his arms, but kept his grip on the other and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Don’t want to lose you again.” Harry stumbled over a dip in the pavement and Louis tightened his grip on Harry’s arm. “See, not letting go now.”

Harry turned to sneak a peek at Louis and found Louis looking back at him. “Hey, so, what about your friends?”

“What about them?”

“While we’re here, are you planning to see anyone? Do they know you’re even here?”

“Yeah, yeah. I, um…” Louis looked down and kicked a rock out of their path. “I sent them a message when we were in the car on the way here yesterday. Wanted to sort of prepare them.”

Harry bit his lip and glance at Louis, then asked, “For me?”

“For you.” Louis bumped their hips together, but held on tight to Harry’s arm. “Just, um… I know you know Niall from when he’s come to visit. Then there’s Liam. Um… It’s kind of a funny story.”

“Haha funny or like, weird funny or creepy funny?”

“Coincidentally interesting funny?” Louis shrugged and tilted his head to the side. “We’ve all known each other for like, our whole lives almost. Went to school together and even played all the same sports when we were growing up.”

“You played sports?”

“What? I’m… sporty.”

“Yeah, okay.” Harry rolled his eyes. He’d known Louis for two years and had never known him to play or even watch any sports.

“Anyway, I’ll get to that. It’s just that like, Liam dated this girl for like all of high school, and then they broke up when he went off to college, right? He and Niall went to the same university. And Niall dated this guy he met when he was a freshman for years and years.”

“You’re boring me, Lou.” Harry faked a big yawn. “I don’t care about their dating history.”

“Shut up.” Louis elbowed him in the ribs, but not hard enough to hurt. “There’s a point to this. I was just giving you backstory.”

“Don’t care,” Harry sang, dragging out the ‘a’.

“Fine. They’re dating. Each other.”

“Ooh, really? That _is_ interesting.”

“Told you.” Louis looked at Harry and smirked. “And I think you met Stan, and you know Oli, and then I think Luke and Calvin will be there. Anyway, I wanted to tell them about you because, well, they already know you. Or they know of you. And they were, um… very excited, let’s just put it that way.”

“Right. Okay.” Harry blinked slowly and tried to remember the last time any of Louis’ friends had visited. “Well, when are you going to see them?”

“When we meet them here tomorrow on one of the open fields.” Louis pointed past the concessions stand and Harry stood on his tiptoes to check if he could see anything in the dark. “We play football every year on Christmas Day. After presents and stuff and, like, maybe a nap.”

“Football?” Harry didn’t know why he was surprised when it seemed like something unexpected was happening every five minutes.

“Yeah, we all played together when we were like, twelve and thirteen. Couple of the guys played in high school too. It’s just for fun though. Touch, not tackle.”

“Yeah, okay. I guess I can do that. I’ll try, at least.” 

“That’s all I ask.” Louis grinned and tugged Harry’s beanie down over his eyes.

The line for hot chocolate was long, so they huddled together while they waited. After almost every single person had run back into the house for something they’d forgotten, Louis had not only managed to leave his gloves at home, he’d also worn a coat that didn’t have pockets. It took them a few tries to figure it out, but eventually Harry unbuttoned his coat, Louis stood in front of him with his back to Harry’s chest, Harry wrapped his coat around as much of Louis as he could, and Louis stuffed his hands inside Harry’s coat pockets. They had to look ridiculous, but Harry didn’t care. _No more faking._ He said it to himself again before tipping his head forward to kiss the back of Louis’ beanie, then nuzzling against the side of Louis’ neck and breathing in the scent of his skin.

With their cups of hot chocolate, Louis didn’t need to warm is hands in Harry’s pockets, so they walked side by side around the outer edges of the crowd. The twinkling light displays were hypnotizing—they pulsed to the beat of the music piped through the speakers around the park. 

“We should go find the babies so we can take them to see Santa,” Louis said and tossed his empty cup into the nearest trash can. 

Harry finished his hot chocolate and threw the cup away, then hurried to catch up to Louis. “Don’t your parents do that?”

“Nah, it’s kind of my thing. I like taking them. It’ll be easier with you though, now that they can like, run and stuff. Two of us to corral them.”

“Okay.” Now that they didn’t have their hot chocolate and their hands were free, Harry reached out and grabbed Louis’ wrist, slid his hand down, and linked their fingers together. Santa’s Wonderland was right beside the bouncy castle that looked like it was made of icicles, so they decided to start looking there. The crowd had thinned a little, most of the people had already seen Santa and had started to make their way down to the big tree to wait for the official lighting ceremony. “Are we going to miss the tree lighting?”

Louis shook his head. “Up close, all you can see are the other people blocking your view. It’s better from back here. You can see the whole thing.”

Harry stopped and gently pulled Louis back to him. The tree was in the middle of a clearing, at the bottom of a small hill, completely surrounded by people. From where they were standing at the back of the inflatable castle, they had a clear view of not only the tree, but the surrounding area where Louis had said that all of the smaller trees and bushes were also draped with lights. 

They wandered past the entrance to the bouncy castles and ended up on the dirt track behind them where all of the electrical cords were, and continued down the track, walking behind all of the inflatable toys, peeking out at the line of waiting parents and children at each one. They hadn’t found Louis’ family yet and there was only one castle to go. Harry looked down at their hands, so casually connected, and for the briefest of seconds the ache in his chest was overwhelming. He closed his eyes and thought, _no more faking,_ then opened them again to find Louis watching him with a curious expression on his face.

“What’s—”

Harry didn’t let him finish. He yanked Louis toward him, and kissed him before he could say anything else. It wasn’t smooth and it wasn’t perfect by any means. Harry moved forward so fast that Louis jerked back instinctively, but Harry had momentum on his side and crashed their mouths together, wrapped his other arm around Louis’ shoulder, licked at Louis’ bottom lip, and when Louis opened his lips easily, the kiss went from chaste to dirty in almost no time. 

There was a second of hesitation when Harry let go of Louis’ hand and wrapped his arm around Louis’ waist because he wanted to slide his hand down, but he didn’t know if that was allowed. He shook it off, let his hand skim over Louis’ coat and down where he let it rest on the denim covering Louis’ ass. It felt incredible to be touching him like that and Harry moaned quietly against Louis’ lips before he could stop himself. The sound seemed to reverberate in his ears and he stopped, dropped his hands to his sides and pulled back, panting slightly. The air between them was a cloud of mist from their breaths and for a few seconds, it was enough of a distraction.

“What…” Louis cleared his throat and reached for Harry’s hand. “What was that for?”

“Um… Thought I saw your mom,” Harry quickly lied and he knew it was obvious. There wasn’t a single person near them. 

Louis nodded and turned to walk towards the last bouncy castle, pulling Harry behind him. Harry really expected Louis to call him on his outright lie and he didn’t, which was confusing as hell, but there was no time to think about it because as soon as they rounded the corner, they bumped right into the twins.

The line to see Santa had dwindled, so they didn’t have to wait very long, just one screaming infant, one perfectly well behaved preschooler with an actual written list, and two toddlers who looked like they’d rather be anywhere else. When it was their turn, Louis and Harry plopped the twins down into Santa’s lap, one on each knee, then backed far enough away that the Photographer Elf could get a clear picture. 

Almost as soon as the flash went off, Ernest started wiggling and yelling to get down, and even though he hadn’t told Santa about any of his wishes, he climbed off of his lap and ran for Louis, who picked him up and carried him over to Jay who was standing with the rest of the family on the other side of the fence that surrounded Santa’s Wonderland. 

Doris seemed perfectly happy where she was, so Harry stayed there while she listed off everything that she had on her Christmas list, counting them one by one on her fingers, and then switching hands to count off her twin brother’s list as well. Harry was completely enamoured with her, and he knew he must have the silliest grin on his face. He couldn’t help that his gaze flickered back and forth from Doris to Louis—who was watching them from the fence. Harry realized he was staring at Louis when Louis bent down to pick up Doris. Harry didn’t even see her run off.. 

Harry started to walk around behind Santa to where Louis stood, but stopped when Santa turned to him, with his signature, “Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas, young man. And what would you like Santa to bring you, eh?” 

“Oh, um… I think I’m alright.” He bit his lip and looked from Santa to Louis who was watching them from the fence. “Thanks, though.”

“Nonsense. Humor an old man. Nothing tickles your fancy? You don’t want a new iPhone? A new car?”

Harry took a step closer so that he was standing right beside Santa’s chair, but he could barely keep his eyes off of Louis’ bright smile. “I’m… um… thanks, um, Santa. Not sure you can really do much for me this year. Unless you’re friends with cupid.”

Santa scratched his beard and hummed, then winked. “Might be. Happy holidays, young man.”

“Thanks, um… Santa. Merry Christmas.” Harry lifted his hand in a little wave and walked over to join Louis where he was standing alone by the fence. “Where’d everybody go?”

Louis shrugged. “They left.”

“Left?”

“Well, not really. The babies wanted to get closer to the tree, so they’re all down there.” Louis tipped his head in the direction of the giant Christmas tree. “They’re closer to the parking lot that way, too, so they’re leaving right after.”

“We should hurry then.”

“Nah, I told them to leave us.” Before Harry could ask why, Louis answered his unspoken question, “The babies are tired and I wasn’t sure if you were like, signing up to be an elf or maybe a reindeer? Didn’t know how long you’d be, and it’s not a long walk home. Plus, the view really is better from here.”

Harry nodded and started unbuttoning his coat again. If they were going to be standing around, waiting for the tree lighting, he might as well warm Louis up again. He moved to stand behind Louis, and for a moment, he watched as each puff of his breath clouded up in front of his face, then floated up to dissipate in the air, but then Louis leaned back into his chest and let his head rest on Harry’s shoulder, and that became all he could focus on. He almost missed the tree lighting completely, and only noticed it because of the echoing applause throughout the park.

They stood there for a little while, just watching the twinkling lights, but when Louis shifted slightly in his arms, Harry backed away. He reached up to adjust his hat and tighten his scarf, then when Louis turned to face him, he did the same for him, and said, “Let’s go then.” 

It wasn’t a long walk, just as Louis had said and just as Harry had thought on the ride there, but it was cold now that the sun had set completely and it was getting colder by the second. They walked close together, hips and shoulders bumping every now and then, but otherwise not touching and not talking much either. Out of the corner of his eye, Harry saw Louis cupping his hands together in front of his mouth to catch his warm breath, then rubbing them together. 

Harry grabbed Louis’ arm to stop him, pulled off his right glove and handed it to him. “Put it on.” Louis’ wrinkled brow was adorable, but Harry was cold and didn’t want to wait around for him to ask questions. “You wear that one on your right hand, I’ll wear this one on my left. Give me your left hand.” 

Louis nodded and placed his cold left hand in Harry’s right and smiled when Harry linked their fingers together and put both of their hands inside his coat pocket. “Creative solution. If I’m ever stranded in the middle of nowhere, I hope you’re with me.”

Harry barked a laugh that echoed in the silent night air. “Me too, Lou.”

The rest of the walk was spent discussing what they’d want to have with them if they were ever stranded on a deserted island and before they knew it they were walking up the front steps and Harry was letting go of Louis’ hand. The house was quiet, everyone was either in bed asleep or in their bedrooms with the doors shut so that Santa could deliver his gifts. Jay and Dan were sitting in the middle of the living room floor putting together two tiny bikes for the twins and they shooed Harry away when he offered to help, so he followed Louis upstairs. It was still pretty early, but it had really been a long day and being out in the cold had drained what was left of Harry’s energy. 

Harry pushed open the door to find Louis already in the bed on the far side, curled up under the blankets and facing the door. “I’m freezing, Harry. Hurry up.”

As quick as he could, but not so fast as to seem desperate, Harry brushed his teeth and undressed, leaving his boxers and t-shirt on, turned off the light, and crawled beneath the covers. Louis moved closer to him immediately, wiggling and scooting until they were almost face to face.

“I said I’m cold. Cuddle me.”

“God, you’re such a baby about the cold,” Harry mumbled and rolled his eyes, even though Louis couldn’t see him in the dark. “Hey, um… Happy birthday, Lou. I don’t think I’ve said that yet today.”

“Thanks, Harry.” Louis whispered into the dark. “It was a good one. One of the best, I think.”

Harry bit his lips and closed his eyes. It had been a good day, even though it was probably the last birthday he’d spend with Louis. He took a deep breath and said, “I’m right here, you know. You can cuddle me however you want.” 

Before he finished speaking, Louis pushed him until he was laying flat on his back, crawled over and fit his body along Harry’s side, with his head resting on Harry’s chest and his arm on Harry’s stomach. Harry was almost rigid at first; he wasn’t sure where to put his arms or what to do with the rest of his body, but then he thought, _no more faking,_ and wrapped his arm around Louis’ back, pulling him a little closer, letting his legs fall open so that Louis’ foot slipped between them, and placed his other hand on top of Louis’ where it lay over his heart. He forced the fear away, wouldn’t let himself think about what he was going to lose in just a few days, and fell asleep wondering whether Louis would like his Christmas present or not.

« »

Harry stretched his arms out over his head and pushed himself up onto his elbows. Louis’ side of the bed was empty, which in itself was a ridiculous thought since they didn’t have designated sides of the bed. Still, Harry wondered when Louis’d gotten up, whether he’d done anything embarrassing in his sleep, and how long they’d slept in the position they’d fallen asleep in the night before. 

He could hear the shower, so he rolled over onto his back and laid there thinking about what he was going to do when they got back home. Their lease was up in January anyway, so maybe they’d just not reup it. There were some smaller apartments closer to the primary school. He could probably move into one of those… alone. He certainly wasn’t interested in finding another roommate, not after living with Louis. It just wouldn’t be the same. 

The water shut off and after a few minutes, he heard the hallway door open, so one of Louis’ sisters must have been in the shower. Harry hurried into the bathroom and locked the doors so he could take a quick shower in peace. He tried to go over the plan for the day in his head, but he couldn’t stop thinking about his gift for Louis. It was starting to seem like the stupidest gift in the history of gift giving, but there was no going back now. They’d put it under the tree already. 

Everyone was sitting in the living room when Harry came downstairs. The babies were picking up the presents from under the tree and handing them off to Daisy and Phoebe, who were passing them out. Louis was on the couch with Lottie and Fizzy, and he made them scoot over when Harry got there. He ended up sitting pressed up against the arm of the couch with Louis’ legs draped over his lap.

It was really a wonderful Christmas morning. Harry had never spent the holiday with anywhere near as many people before. His own family was much smaller and even when they’d spent Christmas with his grandparents and his stepfather’s family, there hadn’t been this big of a crowd. The twins helped everyone unwrap their gifts, which made things take a little longer, but no one seemed to mind and it made for cute pictures. 

When it was finally Louis’ turn, Harry started to feel nervous again. All of the gifts Louis opened so far had been perfect, almost as if Louis had picked them out himself, and not one had been something homemade. Harry couldn’t help bouncing his leg faster and faster until Louis pinched him and asked him to stop.

“Last one!” Louis picked up Harry’s package from the floor and laid it on his lap. The twins were right there, helping unwrap it until they got the paper free and it became obvious that it was a book, then they went back to playing with their new bikes. 

He’d opened it upside down, and when he flipped it over, Harry couldn't help but stare at him, trying to read his expression, hoping that he’d like it. Louis ran his fingers over the cover. “What… Are these…” Louis looked closer. It was custom-made: two tickets from the night they’d met with a picture Harry had taken that night as the background. 

The Script had been in town opening up for another band and Harry had gone just to see them. He’d literally run into Louis in the bathroom after the main act had started and they’d ended up going to another bar for a beer and some food instead of hanging around at the concert. They’d been practically inseparable ever since.

“Just a copy. The real ones are safe at home. Um… open it.” 

Louis grinned at him and pulled one of his curls, then opened the book and started reading out loud for the entire room to hear, which Harry hadn’t expected. “One back massage after a long day at work, one foot rub (disclaimer: feet must be clean), one meal of your choice cooked for you (must give at least one day notice for shopping purposes), one cuddle on the couch (no time limit)...” He trailed off and flipped through the pages until he got to the back, then he turned to Harry and whispered, “Did you really make this for me?”

Harry nodded and shut his eyes tight against his embarrassment. He’d thought it was cute and fun when he was sitting at their little table at home, cutting out cardstock, and hand-lettering fifty coupons for various things that he knew Louis loved. Now, he realized how stupid and sentimental it was and he was ready to crawl into a hole and die. He couldn’t believe he’d thought this was a good idea. 

“I love it, baby.” Louis grabbed Harry’s face in his hands, startling him out of his downward spiral, and kissed him square on the lips. He closed the book and set it with his other gifts, then winked and said, “I’ll have to check out the rest of these coupons later. Never know what might be in here.” 

Harry huffed and rolled his eyes. 

His stack of gifts consisted of two boxes. One that read ‘From all of us’ and one from Louis. He carefully peeled back the paper from the first one, and as he was doing so, Jay said, “It’s a silly gift. If I’d known you two were dating,” she gave Louis a look that said she blamed him one hundred percent for not telling her, “I’d have had more time to find the perfect gift for you. There’s always next year though.”

Harry cleared his throat and swallowed. “Yeah… um… next year.” He unwrapped it the rest of the way and laughed quietly, then held it up for the everyone to see. It was an apron that said ‘Pastree Chef’ with a large Christmas tree decorated with tiny cakes and pies underneath. Harry looked up and smiled at her, his big smile with dimples and teeth, and hoped that it was believable. “Thanks, Jay.”

“Welcome, sweetheart. Make sure you bring it with you next Christmas.”

“Alright, alright. Open mine.” Louis took the apron from Harry and shoved his gift for him into his hands.

It was a small package, almost the size of a pencil box, and Harry thought maybe that’s what it was. Louis nudged the package in his lap and Harry realized that he was staring at it for who knows how long. It was wrapped beautifully, which meant Louis had it wrapped wherever he’d bought it, so Harry was careful as he untied the ribbon and slipped the paper off of the box. It wasn’t a pencil box. It was a long, velvety box, meant for jewelry, and Harry didn’t know what to think, because it wouldn’t actually _be_ jewelry. He tried to prepare himself for every sort of prank he could think of—a box full of glitter, tiny springy snakes jumping out, anything. When he glanced over at Louis, he didn’t look suspicious, which in itself was suspicious. He looked a little bit nervous, but he was smiling. 

Slowly, Harry lifted the lid and instantly slammed it shut again. “Louis!” 

“What? You wanted it.”

Harry shook his head slightly and cracked open the box again. Inside lay a thin gold chain with a single large pearl. It was a necklace that he had admired every time he’d seen it, usually when he and Louis had been out together shopping for something else, but he knew he’d never be able to afford it. Not on his teacher’s salary. 

“Can’t believe you… Lou…” Harry shook his head again and blinked rapidly. What an absurd reason for tears. 

Louis took the box from his hands, lifted the necklace out, and gestured for Harry to turn around so he could put it on for him. When he finished, Harry sat back trying to disappear into the couch cushion because he momentarily forgot that they were in a room full of Louis’ family. 

“Do you like it?” Louis whispered, as if everyone couldn’t hear him anyway.

Harry nodded and said, “Thank you. I really do love it. Can’t believe you bought this.”

“’Course I did.” Louis ran his fingers down the chain and tapped the pearl with his index finger. “You’ve been wanting it for months.”

“Well, I don’t know about you guys,” Fizzy announced, standing up and gathering stray bits of wrapping paper from the floor. “But I’m genuinely disgusted by how sappy these two are. I mean, yuck. For real.” 

Lottie cackled and elbowed Louis before following Fizzy with her arms full of torn paper and ribbons. “Give them a break, Fiz. It’s been two solid years of pining. The sappiness will dwindle eventually.” 

Jay reached over and patted Harry’s knee and his entire body jerked to attention. “Ignore them. What the two of you have is special. Anyone can see it and it’s lovely.”

Harry managed a “thank you” before pushing himself off the couch and cleaning up the rest of the mess as fast as he could. The last few days had been the worst sort of roller coaster and he was ready to get off. He could feel Louis watching him from the couch and he needed to get out of there, so he just turned and left the room. It wasn’t until he reached the bedroom door that he realized he was still holding all of the trash he’d picked up off the floor. He fumbled with the doorknob and when he finally got it open, he tossed the balled up wrapping paper onto the bed and started pacing.

He was still walking back and forth between the bed and the door when Louis walked in with Fizzy on his heels. She apologized as soon as she stepped into the room, but all he could do was nod before Louis cradled his face in both hands, eyes darting all around, clearly concerned. 

There was nothing to do but kiss his worry away. His hands grabbed for Louis’ waist, catching the fabric of his shirt first, his fingers dug into the flesh of his hips when he reached for him a second time. When their mouths met, Harry’s was already open and he pushed his tongue against Louis’ lips, sliding inside easily. Louis tangled his fingers in Harry’s hair and he matched every move of Harry’s, pressing closer until there was no space at all between them from their hips to their chests. Sparks were going off behind Harry’s eyelids and his entire body felt tingly. He slid his hands from Louis’ hips around and down so that they were covering as much of Louis’ ass as they could, but when he began to knead at the muscles and Louis moaned into his mouth, the bedroom door slammed shut and they both jumped backwards. 

Harry’s eyes were wide and he knew he must look like such a mess if Louis was anything to go by. His face was flushed, his lips were pink and wet, his chest heaved every time he took in a breath, and he couldn’t seem to figure out what to do with his hands. 

“Fizzy,” Harry blurted out and pointed at the now closed bedroom door. Then he gestured with both hands, trying to encompass everything that had just happened between them. “I… Umm… Sorry about that.” 

“Yeah...” Louis finally stopped moving his hands and dropped them to his hips. “Me too. I’m, um, just going to shower.” And he turned and disappeared into the bathroom.

Harry closed his eyes for a few seconds, then opened them and took a deep breath. He was half-hard in his jeans just from kissing Louis for a few seconds and he needed to do something, something that didn’t even remotely involve his dick or thoughts of Louis, so he spun around to pick up the wrapping paper he’d thrown on the bed, but it was gone. Fizzy must have grabbed it before she made her escape. Harry dropped face down onto the mattress and groaned quietly. He was a mess. 

Someone knocked on the bedroom door and when he called out for whoever it was to come in, Lottie pushed open the door.

“Harry, can you please do me a favor?”

“Sure.” He pushed himself up off the bed, ready to follow her downstairs, but she didn’t move from the doorway. “What do you need?”

“Can you just go in there and get my makeup bag?” She pointed towards the bathroom. “It’s on the counter beside the sink.”

Harry nodded, but then hesitated when he reached the door. “He’ll just be a few minutes.”

“Yeah, but my ride’s here. I’ve got to go.” She tipped her head to the side and raised her eyebrows. “Please? I mean, he’s in the shower. Nothing you haven’t seen before.”

“Fine.” Lottie blew him a kiss and stepped back into the hallway. Harry walked inside. 

Why he immediately looked to his right towards the shower instead of to the left towards the sink, he wasn’t sure, maybe it was the stifled moan that met his ears as soon as the door was open, but instead of Lottie’s makeup bag on the counter, Harry’s eyes fell on Louis’ hand stroking his cock. And instead of apologizing or grabbing Lottie’s bag or simply leaving the room, Harry just stood there for a moment and watched.

Louis must have been too caught up in jerking himself off because he didn’t even turn his head until Harry said, “Fuck.” 

As soon as he said it, Louis looked at him, mouth hanging open in pleasure, then he bit his lip, closed his eyes and came into his own hand and onto the shower floor. Harry squeezed his eyes shut, but it didn’t matter. He’d never forget what he’d seen. He blindly grabbed for Lottie’s bag and backed out of the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. He hurried to the bedroom door, shoved the bag into Lottie’s hands, and shut the door in her face. She yelled her thanks and he could hear her running down the stairs. He took a moment to collect himself, then went downstairs in search of coffee or bacon or maybe a replacement shower curtain that wasn’t see-through.

« »

The girls had left to spend the day with their dad, so it was a smaller crowd for the late breakfast that Jay made after everyone opened their gifts. Smaller, but still enough of a buffer that Harry could mostly avoid looking at Louis once he joined the table, hair still wet and face still flushed. Whether from his shower, or his embarrassment, or from his orgasm, there was no way to know and Harry wasn’t… Well… He was curious, but he was trying to not think about it. Unfortunately, soon enough breakfast was over, the twins were being carried upstairs to get cleaned up, and Louis and Harry were left alone to take care of the breakfast dishes.

The uncomfortable silence lasted a few minutes, but then Louis opened his mouth and they switched to uncomfortable conversation instead. 

“Umm… Sorry about earlier.” Louis’ eyes darted over to look at Harry where they stood side by side at the sink. 

Harry cleared his throat and said, “No, um… I’m sorry. I should’ve knocked—”

“Doubt I’d’ve noticed, to be honest.”

A snort escaped before Harry could stop it. “Yeah, you were kind of… occupied.”

Louis knocked his hip against Harry’s. “Surprised that’s the first time that’s happened, actually.”

“Yeah…” Harry nodded and washed the last plate before handing to Louis to rinse.

Louis finished rinsing and started drying the dishes. “Seriously, though. I’m…” 

“God, Lou, shut up.” Harry snatched the towel from him and started drying plates as fast as he could without dropping them. “I’m sorry too. I was like… totally inappropriate with like… I shouldn’t have kissed you and stuff. So, like… Let’s just forget it.”

Louis watched him quietly for a moment. “Yeah, okay. I’m, um… I’m… I didn’t sleep well, so I’m gonna go lay down for a while, if that’s okay.”

“Yeah, man. Go for it.”

“You sure?”

Harry nodded and tried to smile reassuringly. “I told your mom I’d help her anyway.”

“Okay… I’ll, um…” He didn’t finish his thought, just raised his hand and gave Harry a thumbs up and left the room.

Things were weird. Great. Things were weird and it was all Harry’s fault. First, for kissing Louis like that—he really had no explanation for it. Not even in his own head where no one else could hear him trying to rationalize it. He’d done it because he’d wanted to and, yeah, he was a little confused and caught up and… maybe a little bit emotionally screwed up because of everything, but none of that gave him the right to do what he’d done. He’d touched Louis’ ass. And not just touched it, he like, grabbed and squeezed it like it was some sort of pastry dough or something. 

Harry went looking for Jay, figuring that a couple of hours of cooking and baking would give him something else to concentrate on, but when he found her, she said she’d gotten up early and finished everything. All she had to do was warm things up later for Christmas dinner. Harry tried to hide his disappointment, because he had actually been looking forward to it, then he went downstairs to the den, hoping that two floors was enough distance to keep him from doing something stupid, at least for the next few hours.

The rest of the morning was fairly uneventful. Dan came down to watch the highlights from all of Christmas Eve football games and Harry ended up watching with him. It’d been a while since he’d watched any football at all, it wasn’t really his sport, even though he knew enough to keep up his end of the conversation. His sister would be proud; football was always her thing. Soon though, they were yelling at the screen during the clips of the hardest hits and Harry even shook his fist at the ceiling once or twice. 

It was fun, but he couldn’t stop wishing that Louis was there too, and then he’d feel dumb for even thinking that, then he’d mentally berate himself for calling himself dumb and it was all just a mess inside his head, really. He was at Louis’ house, with Louis’ family, so of course he’d rather spend time with Louis. It had nothing at all to do with anything he may or may not have seen upstairs and nothing at all to do with his _feelings._ It was about their friendship. He just wanted to hang out with his best friend. Harry nodded to himself and sat back to watch the rest of the highlights and tried to think about something else.

« »

“Harold!” 

Harry woke up so suddenly, he almost fell off the couch. While he righted himself and wiped the drool from his face, Louis turned off the TV and dropped down onto the couch, crossing his ankles in Harry’s lap. He supposed things were back to normal, or at least they were going to pretend they were. Which was alright. Harry was becoming an expert at hiding his real feelings where Louis was concerned.

“Harold.” Louis poked him in the stomach with his bare toes, so Harry grabbed his ankles and held them still while Louis sang, “Are you ready for some football?”

“You sound nothing like Hank Williams, Jr.”

“Look at you, knowing stuff about stuff. I didn’t think you watched football.”

“Just watched like, I don’t know, felt like three years worth, but it was probably an hour or so.”

“Well, the boys are on their way to the park, so get up, get changed.” Louis was up and off the couch in a second and tugging on Harry’s hand until he got up and let Louis drag him up the two flights of stairs to their room. 

Harry sighed and fell onto the bed as soon as he walked into the bedroom. “So your friends think we’re dating, right?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Just trying to figure out how I’m supposed to act around them.”

“Follow my le—”

“I can’t always follow your lead, Louis. If I’m your ‘boyfriend’,” Harry rolled his eyes as he did the air quotes. “Then I’ll just be me, but like, how I’d be if I was really your boyfriend.”

Louis turned to look at him from where he was digging through his clothes and watched him for a second. “Okay.”

“Okay, then. What do I need to wear?” Harry waited for Louis to answer, but instead he kept digging through his clothes. Finally, he stood up and threw a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie at Harry and sat down to put on his socks.

They were Louis’ sweats, so they’d probably be a little short, but if he pulled his socks up, it wouldn’t matter. He started pulling his jeans down while he was still on his back on the bed, then kicked them off onto the floor before standing up. The hoodie was thick and soft and he got lost in it for a second and tried to stick his head through the armhole, but managed to figure it out. When his face popped out of the shirt, the first thing he saw was Louis staring distractedly at… 

“Are you looking at my dick?”

“Hard not to. I mean, it’s bad enough that you walk around with it hanging out all over the place at home, but even in your underwear it’s like… it’s looking at me.”

Harry snatched the sweatpants off the bed and stepped into them, pulling them up and tying the strings in a double knot. Louis was so frustrating sometimes and half the time Harry didn’t know how to respond. Well, he knew what he’d like to say, but he couldn’t. So he just didn’t say anything. 

« »

“Alright, boys!” Louis shouted as he spun the football and tossed it up in the air, easily catching it and cradling it against his chest. “Let’s pick teams. I call captain!”

“Captain!” Niall yelled at the same time, then laughed and clapped Louis on the shoulder. “First pick!”

Louis rolled his eyes and tossed the football at Niall’s head, then they both backed up and put some distance between them.

Niall used the tip of his index finger to lower his sunglasses until they were right on the tip of his nose, then he pointed at each of the boys in turn and said, “Duck, duck, duck, duck, duck,” he paused and tried to make a drum roll sound, “Goose, Harry!” He waved Harry over to stand with him.

“Not fair, Ni, he’s my boyfr—”

“Unfair advantage, Tommo.” Niall winked and said, “Your turn.”

“Fine. Liam!”

Niall rubbed his hands together and turned to Harry to mutter, “My evil plan is working. He’s shit at football.”

“How do you know I’m not?”

“I don’t, do I? But I had to split you and Louis up. It’s better this way.”

They continued picking teams until they were evenly split. Louis, Liam, Oli, and Luke on one team; Niall, Harry, Calvin, and Stan on the other. Then, after Louis and Niall played a quick game of Rock, Paper, Scissors to decide who had possession of the ball, they went to opposite sides of the field to huddle up.

“Right. Harry, welcome to our annual Christmas football game. Loser buys the beer.” Stan bent over with his hands on his knees and the rest of them followed suit. “Now, who wants first go at QB?” No one volunteered, so Stan agreed to do it first. “Harry, we take turns throwing. Remember, touch not tackle, and it’s honor code. Get caught cheating and you buy everyone’s drinks yourself.”

Harry nodded. Calvin nudged Harry’s shoulder and asked, “You any good?” 

“Umm… No clue, man.”

“What?”

“I’ve never played. I mean, I’ve tossed the ball around with my stepdad and my sister, but that’s it. Ran track in school and, like, I run maybe fifteen miles a week.”

“Running back,” Stan said with a quick nod. 

Harry raised his eyebrows at him.

“I’m throwing to you. Just try to get to the other end of the field, these guys’ll protect you. Hope you can catch.” Stan slapped his hand against the ball and yelled, “Break!”

They all jogged back to the chalk line in the middle of the short field and lined up facing Louis’ team. Thanks to all of the game highlights he’d watched, Harry had been reminded of football positions and knew where he needed to be, and thankfully Louis was on the other end, so he could concentrate on the game. He squatted down to stretch his legs a little bit, then leaned onto his fingers and waited for the snap.

Stan called out what sounded like way too many numbers. Harry was pretty sure they didn’t mean a fucking thing. Niall snorted right next to him and said, “His fucking phone number.”

Harry giggled, then bit his lip and tried to keep a straight face while Stan yelled his phone number again. “Hut!” Harry took off. He was pretty good with a single focus like running. There was a clear purpose—to get to the goal line—but he was really nervous about the whole catching thing. It’d been a few years since the last time he and Gemma had thrown the ball around in their backyard. Still, he had to try. Quickly, he looked back over his shoulder and was shocked to see how far he’d gotten ahead of everyone. Louis was chasing after him, but he was far enough away that Harry was confident he could go out of bounds before Louis reached him. He squinted his eyes to block some of the afternoon sunlight just in time. Stan launched the ball, low and fast, and directly to him. Before Louis could get close, Harry caught the football with both hands, tucked it into his side, and sprinted for the goal line.

Touch, not tackle, apparently did not apply when it was your own team jumping on you and knocking you to the ground. Harry found himself at the bottom on a pile of screaming, overly excited boys, and the grin that had taken over his face when he’d first caught the ball, felt like it had doubled in size. He laid there on the grass laughing as they yelled until he saw Louis’ face peering through at him, seeming worried. 

“Off! Get off him!” Harry watched at Louis pulled his friends off of the pile, freeing Harry. He grasped Harry’s hand and pulled him to his feet, then stepped up close, pushed Harry’s hair back, and stared into his eyes.

“I don’t have a concussion, Lou.” Harry darted his hands out and tried to pinch Louis’ nipples, but he missed, but instead of dropping his hands to his sides, he let them fall to Louis’ hips. 

“Just checking. They don't need to do that shit.” Louis lowered his voice and murmured, “Could’ve hurt you.” 

It was sweet, really, that Louis seemed so worried about him, but it was probably part of the act. He definitely came across as the protective boyfriend, especially when he leaned in to pressed a slow, sweet kiss to Harry’s lips. Harry sighed quietly when it was over.

“Be careful.”

“Touch, not tackle. Remember?” Harry rolled his eyes. “I think they were just excited.”

“They should be. None of them can run like that.” Louis winked and shoved Harry lightly in the chest. “Go on.”

Harry jogged back over to join the huddle.

More than an hour later, it seemed like the teams were pretty equally matched. Louis’ team may not have had a fast runner, but they were better at blocking, and once they’d seen how fast Harry could move, they had Oli and Louis covering him every time. He still managed to catch the ball four more times and scored twice more. 

“Last play, boys.” Niall said and spun the ball on its end in his palm. “Harry, your turn as QB.”

So far he’d avoided throwing the ball at all, except twice when he was just tossing it after he scored, but it looked like he was going to have to make the effort. They were tied, and if they didn’t score, the game would be a draw and everyone would pay for their own drinks at the bar. 

It was a good idea to give Harry the ball because it seemed like Louis and his team hadn’t expected it. As soon as Harry took his place behind Niall, the other boys were a flurry of whispers before they rearranged themselves in line.

Harry called out “Set!” then repeated Stan’s phone number, which they’d all been doing to annoy him, and yelled, “Hut!”

Niall snapped the ball back to Harry who caught it easily and looked around for Calvin, but he was covered. Niall was trying to make it upfield, and as he broke through the line, he tripped over his own foot and went sprawling to the ground. Harry stepped back and searched side to side for a few seconds, but it was no use. He would have to run it in. 

With the ball secure, he sidestepped Oli and sped off towards the goal line. He could hear them all behind him, and he knew they were close. They hadn’t let him get a head start since that first play, and this time was no different. Harry darted to the left, trying to throw them off, then back to the right and sprinted with everything in his body until he knew that he was going to make it. He was two steps from the goal when he went down hard, luckily catching himself with enough time to tuck and roll to the side, even with the heavy body that was on his back. 

“Lou, fuck! You asshole!” Harry tried to push him off, but Louis wouldn’t budge.

“Shit, sorry! I…” Louis leaned over and let his hands hit the grass on either side of Harry’s shoulders. “You okay?”

“Yes, you dick.” Harry reached up and whacked him in the arm. “What’d you do that for?”

Louis shrugged and grinned. “Couldn’t let you win.”

“You cheated though, so…” Harry pointed up at him with the index fingers of both hands, then flicked him in the nose and let his arms fall onto the grass above his head. “We still won.”

Louis’ eyes flickered from side to side and in two quick movements, he’d laced their fingers together and pinned Harry’s hands to the ground. “Nope, tied.” 

Harry rolled his eyes at Louis’ ridiculous competitiveness. He couldn’t believe he’d be willing to cheat and tackle Harry in a touch football game, knowing that he’d have to pay the entire tab for all eight of them, just to leave it as a tied game, just so he wouldn’t lose. And he was about to say as much when he heard the whistling and hooting from the rest of the guys and realized exactly what position they were in. 

Up until that second, he’d been so caught up in the shock of being tackled and the rush of the game, that he hadn’t even noticed that Louis was, well, sitting on his crotch, that his ass was literally touching Harry’s dick, although there were probably four layers of fabric between them. Every blood cell in his body dropped what it was doing and rushed to his face, neck, and chest to turn him bright fucking red. His eyes shot wide open and he caught the smirk on Louis’ face and he knew what was about to happen about a half-second before it did.

Louis bent his elbows until his forearms rested on the grass, bringing his entire body down until they were chest to chest, and he leaned in, face flushed and smiling, and kissed Harry. Slower and sweeter than Harry thought possible, especially considering the circumstances, Louis nibbled at Harry’s lower lip, sucked it into his mouth and ran his tongue along the inside. For a moment, Harry couldn’t move, because fuck if this wasn’t exactly what he wanted, though their location left a bit to be desired. Louis kissed him until Harry started to whine into his mouth, lifting his head and chasing after Louis’ tongue with his own. Then he pulled back, dipped down for another kiss, and rested his forehead against Harry’s. 

Louis eyes remained closed and his chest heaved, brushing against Harry’s with every inhale. “Are they watching still?” 

Harry turned to look, but the rest of the guys were gone. He could just make out Liam and Niall walking through the parking lot. It’s not as if he didn’t expect this sort of thing, he knew it was coming. But it still hurt, and his heart was slowly breaking. He shook his head and said, “They left.”

“What?” Louis sat up and back, putting pressure on Harry’s cock that had rapidly become interested in what had been happening just a few seconds before, causing him to let out what sounded like a cross between a moan and a hiss. The reason must have been evident, because Louis stilled completely, mouth hanging partly open, stared at Harry for a split second, and then scrambled off of his lap and onto the grass beside him. Before Harry could sit up completely, Louis was standing, facing away from Harry, holding his hands up to shade his eyes, pretending to look for the other guys. “Would you look at that. They left.”

Harry pushed himself up to his feet and, since Louis was turned the other way, he didn’t bother hiding when he reached into his pants to adjust himself. He couldn't believe he’d let this happen. When Louis tackled him to the ground, he should have rolled him off. He knew he could’ve done it, but he hadn’t wanted to.

This was starting to feel like the longest holiday of his life. He was ready to just go home. Once he was there, he’d figure out what to do about moving out. It was almost over. A few beers with Louis’ friends, and dinner with his family, all while acting like the best fucking boyfriend any of them had ever imagined Louis could have. If he was going down, he was going down swinging. 

“Let’s go.” Louis finally turned back to look at him. “They’ll be at the bar ordering fuck knows what.” 

“Don’t complain to me. You did this shit to yourself.” Harry followed him to the car, trying not to think about the consequences of this whole charade.

« »

They were right to assume the bar would be busy. It was packed full of people, but the other guys were in the back corner with two tables pushed together, and had saved two empty chairs for Louis and Harry. 

“Wasn’t sure you guys were going to show,” Niall said with a smirk as he poured two pints out of one of the pitchers of beer on the table. “This is the beer-appetizer, by the way. Had these waiting when we walked in. Now that they know you’re paying, we’ll be moving up to something fancier.”

“Right.” Louis rolled his eyes and sat down, then slid their beers over in front of them, passing one to Harry. “Here, baby.” 

“Thanks,” Harry muttered against the rim of his glass and took a few swallows. It was only the afternoon, but he wanted a shot. He’d have to control himself though. They still had dinner to get through.

It wasn’t so bad hanging out with Louis’ friends, in fact, it was pretty fun. They all toasted to Harry’s football skills, even Louis, and even though Louis was supposed to pay for everything, his teammates bought him a shot of tequila to celebrate. He had to slow down after that and started drinking a glass of water for every beer he drank, and maintained a steady buzz all afternoon. 

This was something he was used to, sitting in a bar beside Louis, drinking beer and talking shit. It was easy, it was normal, and it was like nothing had changed. Until Louis dropped his hand onto Harry’s thigh and squeezed it, then said, “Hey, baby, you want anything?”

He was good with his mostly full pint of beer and his glass of water, and was thinking of making that his last one anyway, so Harry shook his head. He watched as Louis stood up from his chair, hair messy from playing football for hours, eyes shining when he looked down at Harry, and easy as anything, licked his lips, leaned over and kissed Harry’s partly open mouth.

“Be right back.” Louis scratched his nails through Harry’s hair and tugged gently, making Harry look up at him. “We should go soon.”

Harry nodded and watched him walk away, unaware of how obvious he was being until Liam said, “Man, you can see his ass later. Quit staring.”

It was then that Harry realized he was half hanging out of his chair so that he could keep his eyes on Louis. He sat back up straight and pushed his beer away, grabbed for his water and chugged half the glass, hoping that the ice cold liquid would help erase the flush from his face. “S-s-sorry,” Harry sputtered, choking a little on his water. 

“That’s alright, I know how it is.” Liam tipped his head in Niall’s direction. “Gotta say though, I couldn’t believe it when Louis said you guys had finally gotten together. We’ve been hoping you would.”

Harry cleared his throat and took another swallow of water. “Really?”

“Yeah, man. Niall, especially.” Liam turned to fully face Harry, propped his elbow up on the table, and leaned his face into his hand. “Every time he’s gone to visit, he comes back bitching about Louis whining—”

“I _do not_ whine, Liam.” Louis interrupted, scowling at Liam when Harry turned his head in surprise. 

“Whatever you say, man.” Liam laughed and went back to his beer and his boyfriend.

“You ready, baby?” Louis let his hand rest on Harry’s shoulder and massaged it lightly. “I settled up at the bar.”

Harry looked around the tables. Everyone was finishing up their last drink, dropping cash on the table for the tip, and getting ready to go. “Yeah… Are we walking?” Harry asked as he stood and swayed a little.

“No, I only had one beer earlier.” Louis took a step back to let Harry out from behind the table, then placed a steadying hand on his lower back. “I’ll take you home first so you can shower, then Niall and Liam, and I’ll just make another trip for the rest of the boys.”

Slowly, Harry made his way to the door with Louis’ hand warm on his back the entire way through the bar, and then out to the car. Liam and Niall climbed into the backseat and in just a moment, Harry was walking up the stairs to their bedroom to undress and shower, while Louis played designated driver to his friends. 

Harry washed efficiently in the hot water, lathered his body again in Louis’ soap, and once he was clean, he turned the faucet all the way to cold and stood under the spray until he felt sober. He shivered as he dried off, and was still covered in goosebumps while he dug around in what had become their combined pile of clothes in the corner until he found his pajama pants and a t-shirt that smelled clean enough. With soft, comfortable clothes on, Harry climbed under the covers and fell asleep. 

« »

Middle of the day drunk was the sort of thing that could go either way. Harry could wake up from his little nap feeling slightly buzzed, but mostly sober, and refreshed from his shower. Or he could wake up with a headache, feeling nauseated, dehydrated, and tired. 

He was slowly becoming aware of his surroundings and could feel the softness of the pillow under his head, the weight of the blanket and the warmth of his body heat. When he inhaled, it didn’t seem like he had a headache, and when he exhaled he felt someone brushing his hair off of his forehead. The peaceful contentment that he felt was soothing and his mind started to drift off back to sleep.

A whisper drifted into his ear, “Baby, wake up.”

Harry smiled and, in that in between mindstate, he started trying to fight consciousness and force himself back to sleep, burrowing into the warmth beside him.

“Harold.” Louis’ voice broke through and Harry’s eyes snapped open to find Louis on top of the blankets, laying on his side facing him, just inches away. “There you are. You okay?”

It took a moment for Louis’ words to register and while they were settling in his brain, Harry drank in the sight of him. Damp hair and bright blue eyes, his gorgeous face, the stubble after three days of not shaving that Harry had felt with his own lips… The journey from semi conscious to wide fucking awake was a short one. 

Harry nodded and brought his hand up to his mouth, gently rubbing his thumb over his bottom lip that still felt a little sensitive from Louis’ beard tickling it earlier that day. “I’m fine. Drank a bunch of water and took a cold shower and a nap. Hungry though.”

“Good. Dinner’s in a few. Just have to get dressed and, um, I don’t know what’s going on here.” Louis combed his fingers through Harry’s hair, twirled some of it around and tugged. 

“Ugh. Fell asleep with wet hair. I’ll fix it.” Harry rolled over, climbed out of bed, and headed for the bathroom. 

The vestiges of alcohol in his system made him feel a little loopy, but mostly he felt fine, so he brushed his teeth, splashed some water on his face, and stuck his head under the faucet to wet his hair again. With a towel in one hand, he dried his hair and walked back into the bedroom to ask Louis if there was anything special he needed to do to get ready for dinner, but the words died on his lips.

Maybe he’d been too out of it or not fully awake, but until that second, he hadn’t noticed that Louis was wearing a pair of red briefs and nothing else. The way he was bent over in front of their bags and pile of clothes made it impossible to ignore, so he just… enjoyed the view. 

Fake boyfriend privileges. 

In the year that they’d shared their apartment, Harry had seen Louis in every possible state of partial undress, but the majority of the time he looked away or closed his eyes or left the room if it was too much for him to handle. The last few days had done something to Harry’s survival instincts because he couldn’t force himself to blink, let alone keep his eyes closed or look elsewhere. 

“Harry!” Louis called out loudly without turning around, as he continued to dig through their clothes.

“Yeah—” Harry’s voice came out low and scratchy, so he cleared his throat and tried again. “Yeah?”

Louis stood up and spun around. “Sorry. Thought you were in the bathroom still.”

Harry shook his head, unable to say anything more, too busy finally allowing himself to look at Louis the way he’d always wanted to. The view from the back had made him want to drop to his knees and worship Louis’ ass, but from the front Louis was just… too fucking hot. If they didn’t have plans—and if Louis would let him—Harry would literally spend the rest of the day just looking at him, but he couldn’t. 

Finally, Harry was able to blink and the synapses in his brain started firing again. “What are you doing?”

“Looking for my jeans.” Louis turned back to rifle through their clothes again, then tossed a pair of jeans onto the bed. Harry’s eyes followed the trajectory of the ball of denim and when it landed on the bed, he noticed there were two horrible looking sweaters laying there.

“What the fuck are those?”

“Ugly sweaters. Keep up.” Louis pulled a tight white t-shirt over his head and, somehow, that made things worse. Harry lost his ability to speak again, but at least he was able to nod and catch the monstrosity of green wool that Louis threw at him. As for moving any of his other body parts or talking or thinking or doing anything, really, other than silently begging his dick not to get hard, Harry was rendered incapable. 

Louis reached for his clothes on the bed and Harry started mentally bargaining with the devil, promising his first born child, offering to sell his soul, if Louis would just put his fucking jeans on, but no. Nope. He pulled on what had to be the ugliest red sweater to ever exist on earth, and that was it. 

Harry died. His heart stopped beating. His lungs stopped expanding. His legs gave out and he said a brief ‘fuck you’ to Satan for not taking him up on his offer before he sat down hard on the edge of the bed and flopped onto his back. As soon as his senses returned, he bunched up his sweater and tried to nonchalantly hold it over his crotch, because Louis was just _standing there_ in an oversized red sweater that hung loosely on his shoulders, falling slightly to the side so that part of his shoulder and collarbones showed, but the hem had caught on the curve of his ass and bunched up and Harry had just enough time to notice that Louis’ briefs were the exact same shade of red as his sweater before he bent the fuck over to step into his jeans and Harry lost his fucking mind.

A loud, low groan escaped him and he somehow managed to roll over onto his stomach just in time. Louis sat down next to Harry. “Sure you’re okay?”

Without moving his face from where he’d tried to smother himself in the blankets, Harry mumbled “Yeah. Fine.” and he supposed that technically that was true. Now that he was horizontal, he was physically fine. Emotionally, however, was another story. 

“Well, get dressed. I’m gonna dry my hair.” Louis patted Harry’s ass, probably a little harder than necessary, and walked into the bathroom.

Harry laid there until his dick got the message that nothing was going to happen, then he got up to look for his nicer jeans—the ones with only one hole in the knee. Instead of kicking his pajama pants into the corner, he pulled them off and folded them, then set them on the bed so he could find them easily before bed. 

While turning his jeans right side out, Harry happened to glance up and catch Louis watching him in the mirror while he dried his hair. He was busy flapping his jeans around in the air, trying to get the one leg unstuck, and he assumed that Louis was just checking on him, but when his jeans finally cooperated and Harry bent to step into them, he looked up again and Louis was still drying his hair, but he wasn’t taking his eyes off of Harry. 

There was a sudden sensation of triumph followed by the swooping feeling of disappointment, because what did it matter if Louis wanted to look at him, or found him attractive, or even wanted to kiss him like he’d been doing over the past few days? It didn’t. Because Harry didn’t have it in him to be just a fling for Louis or a hook-up or whatever the kids called it these days. At least he’d always thought he wasn’t built that way. 

Maybe… Maybe things changed. Maybe things were different now. Maybe, since he’d resigned himself to the end of their fake relationship signalling the end of their friendship, then maybe a one time physical thing between them was the only way Harry’d ever get the chance to have anything close to what he wanted with Louis. He’d have to think it over. 

Nothing wrong with testing the waters in the meantime. Harry’d planned to keep the shirt he’d napped in on and wear it underneath his sweater, but that wouldn’t do. Slowly, he lifted his arms up over his head, dropped his head from side to side to loosen his neck muscles, the he reached one hand back between his shoulder blades and pulled his t-shirt off, then dropped it to floor. He took a moment to stretch, leaning side to side, and making sure that he was standing in the right spot so that he was perfectly visible in the bathroom mirror. 

Louis might have an ass that Harry’s dreams were literally made of, but he was proud his own bum. He worked hard on it and he felt like it showed, so he spun around and bent over to look for a different t-shirt to wear under his sweater. While he was standing there, ass in the air, he started to sing to himself and bounced a little to the beat. He didn’t want to be obvious about what he was doing, so he stood up as soon as he found another shirt, then made a show of holding it up and shaking the wrinkles out. Almost every guy he’d ever dated had had a thing for his back, so Harry tried to flex those muscles while he pulled the shirt over his head. There was no way for him to know if it was working or if Louis was even watching him, and he needed to check. 

Water dripped from his hair down his neck, so he shook his head, then turned to reach for his jeans. From that angle he could tell Louis was still watching. It would take some luck to put on his jeans standing up and he didn’t want to chance it, so he sat down to start, then stood up to pull them on. They were tight as hell, just the way he liked them, and what was normally the only negative—trying to find a place to put his dick without it looking obscene—was now a definite plus. He faced the bed, so that his side was angled towards the bathroom door and the entire profile of his body was outlined by the light coming in the window, then he put his junk right on display, even cupped it and adjusted it and gave it a little squeeze after he’d zipped his jeans up. 

When he heard the hairdryer clatter to the floor and Louis cursing at himself, he knew he’d succeeded. He smirked to himself and finished dressing, then went ahead downstairs to see his there was anything he could do to help Jay in the kitchen.

« »

The ugly sweaters were a family tradition, apparently, and they were all wearing them, each one more hideous than the next. Lottie’s boyfriend Tommy’s was the worst though—it was covered in blinking, colorful lights and had its own built in music. “Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer” played every time something moved in front of the motion sensor in the center of his chest. They hadn’t been seated for five minutes before they were all yelling over the song for Tommy to take it off. 

Jay had really taken care of everything and it was delicious. Harry wasn’t even nervous, not at all. He felt completely at home for the first time since he’d gotten out of the car on Saturday. Maybe it was his mind’s way of surrendering. 

Conversation flowed easily and if he hadn’t experienced it on a smaller scale over the past few days, the constant noise produced by Louis’ rambunctious family would have shocked him. He was incredibly glad that he’d sobered up and napped because before he had a bite to eat, he was handed a glass of red wine and every time he looked away, his glass was refilled. 

_No more faking_ had taken an interesting turn. Harry let himself lean towards Louis when he spoke, easily rested his hand on Louis’ thigh and patted it whenever he wanted to emphasize something that he said, and when the palm of Louis’ hand slid down the back of his sweater and he started rubbing circles at the bottom of Harry’s spine, he didn’t even flinch. There was a split second when he stilled and almost dropped his fork—it was just so surprising to feel Louis’ thumb dragging along the bare skin of his hip, but he recovered almost instantly and his body shifted closer into Louis without him realizing. 

Harry was watching Louis talk about their earlier football game, not listening to a word he was saying, just hypnotized by the movements of his mouth and face as he spoke, when Louis’ eyes were abruptly on his. It took Harry a moment to register that Louis had said something directly to him.

“Right, baby?”

“Huh?”

“You made the pies.” Louis gently tapped the end of Harry’s nose, hooked his finger under Harry’s chin, tipped it up and kissed him. Harry’s eyelids fluttered closed and he let Louis do what he wanted. Louis hummed and gently sucked on Harry’s lower lip once, then sat back. 

Slowly, Harry blinked a few times, then remembered that Louis had just asked him a question. “Yeah, I, um… I did, um, make them. There’s an apple pie and a pecan pie with chocolate.” 

“I’m sure they’re wonderful, Harry,” Jay said as she carried them into the room. “They look beautiful. Thank you so much for all of your help.”

“Oh, it’s no problem, Jay. Least I could do, really. Wish I could’ve helped more.”

“Next year, hmm?” She smiled and passed him a piece of pie.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Harry nodded, trying not to think too much about it. “Sounds good.”

“I’m so glad Louis brought you home for Christmas, Harry.” Jay reached over and patted his hand. “I mean, it was about time the two of you—”

“We’re really happy to have you here,” Lottie said and smiled at her mom with wide eyes. “It’s been fun and I hope we didn’t scare you off.”

“Yeah,” Fizzy joined in, “Louis is much less of an ass—”

“Félicité!” 

“Sorry, mom.” She turned back to Harry and mouthed, “But it’s true.” Then loud enough so that everyone could hear her, she said, “Don’t screw it up, Lewis, or we may just not invite _you_ to Christmas next year.”

For possibly the first time since Harry’d met him, Louis was seemingly speechless. When Harry turned to look at him, trying to school his features and not appear completely panicked, Louis was staring straight ahead, mouth hanging open, cheeks pink. Harry tilted his head and caught Louis’ eye, winked at him, and dove in for a kiss. He pecked Louis’ lips three times, then moved back a bit and grinned at him. He didn’t know what to do and he wasn’t really sure how he felt, but he didn’t want Louis to be upset. It did look like maybe the reality of their situation was all crashing down on him at once. 

Louis blindly reached for his wine glass, brought it to his lips, and finished it in one gulp. His voice was slightly higher than normal when he said, “No need to threaten me. I won’t screw it up.”

Harry refilled both of their glasses and turned in his chair so that he didn’t have to keep looking at Louis. The holiday was almost over, the fallout could begin tomorrow. 

« »

Jay and Dan asked the younger three girls to help clean up and sent Lottie, Tommy, Louis, and Harry downstairs to the den. Since it was Tommy’s second Christmas with the family, he filled Harry in on the after-Christmas-dinner movie tradition. 

“They have a lot of traditions.” Harry started counting them on his fingers. “Pizza and movies on Christmas Eve-Eve, Santa and the tree lighting, football, these sweaters…”

“You’re the new blood, so you pick the movie, Harry.” Tommy gestured to the shelf, which was full of Blu-Rays, DVDs, and even some VHS tapes. 

It was an easy decision, of course, Harry plucked _Love Actually_ off the shelf and handed it to Lottie to start the movie. Louis was taking up the entire couch, head cradled in his hands, feet propped up on the arm, and as Harry walked past him on his way to one of the recliners, Louis grabbed his hand and pulled him down into his lap. 

“Lay with me.”

“There’s no room, Lou.” 

Louis patted his chest and smiled up at him. “Right here, baby.”

Harry rolled his eyes, but he wasn’t going to argue with him, especially not with Lottie and Tommy watching. He climbed onto the big couch, forced his body between Louis’ and the back cushions, and laid on his side with his head tucked under Louis’ chin and draped his top leg across both of Louis’ and waited for the movie to start.

He’d watched this movie so many time that Harry knew it by heart. It was his absolute favorite Christmas movie, possibly his favorite movie regardless of the holiday or time of year, and he always sort of lost himself in it. Louis was combing his fingers through Harry’s hair, brushing it off his forehead with one hand while his other hand played with the rings on Harry’s fingers. The wine he’d had with dinner was threatening to put him out before the movie was over.

“This is just so unrealistic,” Lottie said, her emphatic voice carrying over the background music and quiet dialogue of the scene. “First of all, the set is way too nice for a porno.”

Louis snorted and Harry’s head bounced, so he said, “Heeeeyyyyyyy…” and directed it at both of them. “It’s a movie. Suspension of disbelief.”

The fingers in his hair twirled and scratched as Louis hummed. A moment later, Louis said, “Yeah, but it’s really far-fetched. I mean, it’s not like pornos have the budget for stand-in actors.”

Harry pushed himself up until he was looming over Louis, one hand pressing on the center of his chest, and muttered with a pout, “You’re supposed to take my side.”

“Am I?” Louis looked up at him and smirked, his eyes dropped down to Harry’s mouth, then darted back up. 

“Yes.” Harry nodded and lowered himself down a little until they were almost nose to nose. 

Louis narrowed his eyes and pursed his lips, then said, “I don’t know about that.” He gestured vaguely in the direction of the television with the hand that wasn’t tangled in Harry’s hair. “Think about all those other employees. The lighting crew? Is that guy the director? Who are these people? Where is this money coming from? I’ve never seen a porno that looked like it had that much forethought and planning put into it. Also, if you—”

Harry dropped down, letting his entire body weight fall on top of Louis, forcing the air out of his lungs in a huff, and shut him up instantly by covering Louis’ mouth with his own. The fingers in Harry’s hair tightened and guided him, tilting his head, and holding him in place, and Harry forgot about the movie. Louis’ mouth was warm and tasted of red wine and Harry was just relaxed enough to let himself fall into it. Slowly, he sucked on Louis’ bottom lip and bit down gently, then let it go, and traced over it with his tongue. A quiet moan escaped Louis’ mouth and when Harry’s tongue swept inside, Louis’ other hand slid down Harry’s back and then back up, pushing his sweater and t-shirt so that his palm could rest on the dip in Harry’s spine. 

The skin on skin contact startled a gasp out of Harry, his eyelids slowly fluttered open, he pulled back and gazed at Louis, waiting for his eyes to open. When they finally did and he looked up at Harry through half-closed eyes, Harry leaned down for one more slow kiss, then wiggled his way back into the small gap between Louis and the back of the couch, resting his cheek on Louis’ chest once more.

Louis went back to combing Harry’s curls with his fingertips and within a few minutes, Harry’s eyes drifted closed and he fell asleep.

Disconnected and nonsensical dreams played on the backs of Harry’s eyelids; the only common thread seemed to be Louis’ presence. They were bundled up in the freezing weather, walking down a snowy path beside the woods; on a sunny beach, dressed in nothing but their swim trunks, lounging on towels beside each other; the heat was out and they were bundled up under blankets, sharing body heat, bare chests pressed together and kissing until Harry couldn’t breathe; they were in the movie, playing each of the couples in turn, flickering between characters and scenes until they settled into the roles of John and Judy, porn actor stand-ins. 

The scene morphed from the porno set to the couch in their livingroom at home where Louis’ face hovered above Harry’s, their bodies touched from their toes to their chests, their hips pressed together with purpose, and, as things tended to go in dreams, a split second later, they were somewhere else. Louis’ bed. And they were naked. Louis’ sweat damp chest slid down Harry’s stomach as he crawled backwards, then he settled between Harry’s legs, and Harry woke up.

“Harry? Shit. You okay?”

Harry shivered and lifted his head and forced himself to swallow the moan that was on the tip of his tongue. 

“Sounded like you were having a bad dream.” Louis cupped Harry’s cheek and his eyes roamed over Harry’s face. The light from the television flickered, the final airport scene of _Love Actually_ with “God Only Knows” by The Beach Boys played in the background. 

Harry shook his head, there was no way he was going to explain what he’d actually been dreaming about. At least he hadn’t woken up hard. 

He murmured “I’m fine” but Louis’ hand didn’t move from Harry’s face. He stroked his knuckle down the line of Harry’s jaw, raised his head, and brought their lips together. For a few seconds, Harry let Louis’ lips move against his, but then he broke the kiss and rested his forehead on Louis’ shoulder. “I feel like I’ve slept most of the day, but I’m still tired.”

The television shut off and Harry looked up in time to see Tommy drop the remote in the chair and follow Lottie up the stairs. He closed his eyes and took a slow breath, then pushed himself up and off of Louis and the couch. 

They got ready for bed in silence, taking turns in the bathroom, shucking off their horrible sweaters, and pulling on pajamas. Louis was already in bed when Harry climbed under the covers and settled onto his side, facing away from him. Harry thought he was asleep until the blanket moved and Louis’ hand touched his shoulder.

“Wanna talk about your bad dream?” Louis asked and gently squeezed Harry’s shoulder

Harry rolled over onto his other side. “Wasn’t a bad dream.”

“You sure?” Louis reached out and brushed a curl off of Harry’s forehead. “You were all twitchy and you sounded upset.”

“No… It was… It’s fine.” Then probably a little too quickly, he added, “I’m fine.” 

Louis chuckled quietly and whispered, “You’ve got me convinced, Harold.”

“What? _I’m fine.”_

“The more you say it the less I believe it.”

“Whatever.”

They were quiet and Harry actually thought Louis was going to let him have the last word, but then he asked, “Was it about zombies?”

“No.” 

“Vampires?”

“No.”

Louis tapped his fingers on the back of Harry’s hand, then said, “One of those creepy dolls that they make movies about that like climbs out from under a trap door in the floor?”

“No, but thanks for that. Probably dream about that now.”

“I’ll protect you, Harold.”

Harry snorted and reached out to push Louis’ shoulder, but Louis caught Harry’s hand in his own and held it to his chest. 

“Was it about Santa?”

“Who the fuck has bad dreams about Santa?”

“You said it wasn’t a bad dream.” Louis squeezed Harry’s fingers twice, then relaxed his grip.

“It wasn’t.”

“Was it about…” Louis hummed thoughtfully. “School?”

“No.”

“Umm… Chad?”

“Ugh. No. I’d managed to forget about him.”

Louis laughed and pushed their joined hands into Harry’s face. “Not Chad… Not Santa… Stan?”

“No.”

“Niall and Liam!”

Harry frowned. He wasn’t sure why he was letting this conversation continue. “Why would I dream about your friends?”

“I don’t know… It wasn’t a bad dream… Was it a good dream?”

“Hmm…” Harry rubbed his thumb over Louis’ knuckles. “Yeah, I guess you could say that.”

“Ooooh, okay. Was it about pie?”

“No.”

“Was there any food involved?”

Harry thought back for a few seconds, then said, “I don’t think so, no.”

“Was it about the movie?”

“Umm…” Yes, but only the porn part.

“Umm? Yes?”

“I mean, sort of. I guess. Part of it.”

“Okay. A good dream, no food, none of my friends were there, _Love Actually_ … Oh! Was I in it?”

Harry’s thumb stopped moving and he held his breath.

“Was I? I was! Okay…”

If he was perfectly still and quiet, maybe he’d fall asleep before Louis finished his guessing game.

“What was I doing? Was I…” Louis drifted off again and Harry thought he was in the clear. “Naked?”

Harry gasped and then, silently cursing himself, closed his eyes so tight that they started to water. 

“I was _naked?”_

_“No.”_

“Liar.”

The only way out of this was to just stop talking altogether.

Louis pulled their joined hands back to rest under his chin. “Did I do something embarrassing?”

Harry shook his head.

“No? Hmm…” Louis clicked his tongue thoughtfully and Harry wanted to kick him or push him out of the bed or kiss him again or something. “Were _you_ naked?”

There was no way Harry was answering that. Not that he thought his silence would be of any help at this point.

“You _were.”_ Louis sounded shocked and Harry didn’t know what to make of that. “Were we… naked... together?”

“God, Lou, shut up.” Harry tried to hide his face in the pillow.

“No fucking way.” Louis sounded genuinely shocked, and then his voice got higher. “You had a sex dream about me?”

“Shut up.” 

“Was it good?”

Harry’d had enough. This stupid holiday, stupid fake boyfriend bullshit, all of it. Without trying to free his hand from Louis’ grip, Harry rolled onto his back and attempted to roll the rest of the way onto his other side, hoping that Louis would realize he’d gone too far, and that he’d release Harry’s hand. Of course he didn’t. If anything he held on tighter, then he pulled Harry’s hand, forcing him to stay on his back, moved his body closer, grabbed for Harry’s shoulder and rolled him back to face him again. Except this time, they were so close that Harry could feel Louis’ breath on his face.

“Was it good, Harry?”

Harry rolled his eyes even though Louis couldn’t see him in the dark and said, “Someone woke me up before anything really happened.”

Louis whispered and somehow even that quiet, he was still demanding, “Tell me.”

“I told you. We were naked.”

“Where?”

Harry stared at him in the dark. He’d said too much already, and yet… “On our couch and then in your bed at home.”

“Were we touching?”

“Yes.”

“How?” Louis rubbed the back of his knuckles over Harry’s forearm, then loosely wrapped his fingers around Harry’s wrist. “Tell me.”

“We were kissing… You were on top of me… then you were about to suck me off…”

Louis gasped and his grip on Harry’s wrist tightened. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. Then I woke up.”

Louis scooted closer and the tips of their noses brushed together. “Were you hard for me?”

“Yes,” Harry exhaled.

“Fuck.” Louis nudged his nose against Harry’s cheek. “Did you want me?”

Harry nodded and when he did, his chin bumped into Louis’ lips. Fuck it. He jerked Louis closer by their hands and kissed him hard, grabbing for him under the blanket and catching his hip with his fingertips. Harry pressed forward, slid his hand over, and cupped Louis’ ass, digging his fingers into his flesh and pulling him over until they met in the middle. When their bodies bumped together, Louis groaned and let go of Harry’s hand, pushing him onto his back and climbing on top of him, the weight of his body pressing Harry’s hips down into the mattress. 

“What else did we do?”

Nothing. It was a dream. None of it made sense. 

“You…You kissed me. On my neck and my chest…” Harry closed his eyes, afraid that his face would show too much, that Louis would know he was was lying, even in the dark. Warm hands slipped underneath Harry’s t-shirt and pushed the fabric off of his stomach. Harry sat up a little and helped pull his shirt off, then laid back into the pillow. He could hardly breathe and he couldn’t believe this was happening, all other thoughts—his concerns about the fallout—were forced aside when Louis leaned down and buried his face against Harry’s neck, breathing hot and kissing every inch of skin there.

He wanted to feel Louis against him, to touch his skin, so he tugged on the hem of Louis’ shirt until it caught on his arms and Louis sat up, yanked it over his head and threw it to the side, then went right back to the other side Harry’s neck and lightly bit down, drawing a moan from Harry’s throat. The warm skin of Louis’ chest brushed against Harry’s, then as Louis moved lower, he let himself rest on top of Harry and where their bodies met, it felt like he was on fire. His hands gripped Louis’ shoulders and pushed him until Harry felt his lips drag across his nipple, then he arched his back, asking for more.

“Yeah?” Louis asked, his lips brushing over Harry’s nipple again, and Harry brought his hands up to rest on the back of Louis’ head to hold him in place, but it wasn’t necessary. Louis’ tongue circled and flicked, he sucked and nibbled and blew cool air on them, working them over until they were both tender and hard, so that even barely grazing the nubs with his lips sent a mixture of pain and pleasure zinging through Harry’s body. 

Louis moved back and forth across Harry’s chest, concentrating on his nipples, but licking and biting and kissing all over. Harry’d stopped actively trying to do anything with his hands, just caressed wherever he could reach, trailing his fingers through Louis’ hair, rubbing the palms of his hands up and down Louis’ arms and upper back. 

“What else?” Louis murmured into Harry’s skin and sat up and back, circling his hips until Harry’s erection was nestled between the cheeks of his perfect ass.

“What?”

“What else happened in your dream?”

“Oh… Umm… You kept kissing me, like… all over. Everywhere.” Harry didn’t even care anymore if he was lying and he thought maybe Louis knew anyway.

“Everywhere, hmm? You said I was going to blow you?”

Harry nodded. “Yeah.”

“And we were naked?”

Harry nodded again. “Yes.” He reached for his pajama pants and tried to push them off, but Louis was sitting on them, and when Harry’s knuckles brushed against his dick, Louis rocked forward into them, so Harry twisted his wrist and rubbed his palm along the length of it, tracing the edges with his thumb and index finger.

Louis pushed himself up onto his knees, moved to the side, hooked his thumbs into his pants and worked them down his hips while Harry shoved his own pants off and kicked them to the floor. As he tried to relax back against the pillow, Louis straddled him again, and then it was bare skin on bare skin. Harry could feel the smooth skin of Louis’ ass on his upper thighs, the warmth where Louis’ balls rested on his own, and, fuck…

“The light was on,” Harry rushed out, and Louis froze where he was, slightly angled forward over Harry.

“What?” Louis brought his hand up to rest in the center of Harry’s chest and Harry knew he could feel his heart racing.

If he was only doing this once, he was doing it the way he wanted it. And he wanted to see Louis, not just a shadow of him in the dark. “In my dream. The light. The lamp… The one by your bed. It was on.”

Louis shifted slightly to the side without moving his hand from Harry’s heart and flipped on the lamp on the bedside table, flooding the room with light and making Harry squint and blink rapidly. Instantly, Harry’s brain was overloaded with visual information as he tried to take it all in. His eyes roamed from Louis’ hand, where it reached towards the lamp, up his arm, to the soft hair in the curve of his armpit, over his shoulder and across his chest, lingering on his collarbones and then his nipples, down his stomach and the trail of hair leading to his cock, which was standing out from a cropped nest of dark hair. 

There was no way that there was enough time to fully appreciate each and every part of Louis’ body in one night and the thought that he’d have to somehow prioritize was frustrating. Still, he needed to get started.

“What’s next?” Louis asked and lightly scratched his nails down the center of Harry’s chest where his hand was still resting.

Harry hummed and ran his hands over Louis’ thighs, dragging his thumbs through the hair in the crease at the top of his thighs, and massaging the firm muscles under his skin. “I… I touched you… like this.” He moved his hands higher and held Louis’ waist on either side, slid them up gradually until his thumbs grazed Louis’ nipples, then circled his thumbs around them before letting his hands drop back down again. As he rubbed up and down Louis’ thighs, he tried to memorize everything he could see and feel. While he thought that the vision of Louis’ body sitting naked in his lap would be a memory that kept forever, he had to take the time to remember the expression on Louis’ face when he was being touched by Harry.

While his left hand continued to caress Louis’ thigh, Harry licked his right hand, wrapped it loosely around Louis’ cock and began to stroke it slowly, keeping his eyes on Louis’ face. A whirlwind of emotions swirled inside of him—love and lust and jealousy and sadness—when he looked at Louis’ heavily lidded eyes, the shadow that his lashes cast on his cheekbones, the tip of his tongue when it darted out to swipe over his bottom lip, and then that same lip where he held it between his teeth. 

That storm subsided the second Louis touched him again.

With a firm grip, Louis began to match Harry’s rhythm, and they worked each other over, while a steady stream of quiet moans and whines from both of them filled the room. Harry knew this would be over far too soon, that so many times the mere idea of Louis touching him had gotten him off faster than any other fantasy, and that the real thing, right there in front of him, practically glowing in the lamplight, and actually touching him was going to push him right over the edge and there was nothing he could do to stop it. 

Harry skimmed the hand on Louis’ thigh up and down and up again, then around to Louis’ ass. He hadn’t even felt it yet, too caught up in what was in front of him to remember that there were parts of Louis he hadn’t seen or touched. He splayed his hand out over one cheek, then dug his fingers into the firm flesh and squeezed, smiling up at Louis when his head fell back and he groaned at the ceiling. 

“Thought you’d never get there, baby,” Louis said and chuckled softly.

Harry laughed weakly and his voice cracked over the words, “Trying to touch all of you.”

“There’s time.”

“Not if you—” Harry’s breath hitched and his hips bucked uncontrollably, almost knocking Louis off his lap when he swiped his thumb across the tip of Harry’s dick. “Fuck. Not if you keep doing that.”

Louis hushed him, released him long enough the lick the palm of his hand, and then thumbed the slit of his cock again and again, so Harry repeated his motions. Soon they were both panting and struggling to keep the rhythm of their hands steady, but Harry wanted more. When he noticed that he could feel Louis’ balls tighten against his own, he knocked Louis’ hand out of the way. He wrapped his long fingers around both of them, and grabbed Louis by the back of his neck, pulling him down and mashing their lips together. 

There was no finesse to it, they were both licking into each other’s mouths, biting each other’s lips, breathing each other’s air, but it was messy and perfect. When Harry slid his hand down Louis’ back and started to move his fingertips closer to Louis’ hole, Louis started to fuck into his fist and push back against Harry’s hand until Harry inched his middle finger over and pressed against Louis’ rim. Harry pushed the tip of his finger inside and Louis grunted and moved his hips faster, so Harry tightened his grip and matched Louis’ speed. Louis threw his head back and came, spilling over Harry’s knuckles and onto his stomach, slicking up their cocks. It was unimaginably hot and it only took a few more strokes before Harry joined him, pulsing hot all over the skin between them. 

Louis sat up, dislodging Harry’s finger from his ass, slipping his dick free from Harry’s hand, and Harry watched enraptured, still working himself through his orgasm, as Louis drew his finger through the mess of their come, lifted to his mouth and sucked it clean. 

After a moment, Louis climbed off of the bed and disappeared into the bathroom, reappearing a little while later with a warm, damp washcloth. Once they were both clean, he returned the cloth to the bathroom, then turned off the lamp and crawled into the bed beside Harry.

Now that it was over, the emotions that had been hiding behind his racing heart and his primal want came rushing to the forefront. Harry rolled onto his side away from Louis, and when Louis curled up behind him, draping his arm over Harry’s side, flattening his hand on his chest and holding him close, Harry bit back a sob. 

In less than a day, it would all be over. They wouldn’t be fake boyfriends, and soon they wouldn’t be roommates, and before long, they wouldn’t even be friends. Silent tears soaked his pillow before he finally fell asleep, too exhausted for even his heartache to keep him awake.

« »

It was still pitch black outside when Harry woke up. Sweaty and hot with Louis practically adhered to his back, his arm still slung over Harry’s side, his hand no longer holding Harry’s heartbeat, but resting palm up on the mattress, fingers curled inward, trembling slightly with his pulse.

Moving as slowly as possible, Harry worked his way out of Louis’ embrace, pulled some clothes out of their pile for himself and left Louis’ favorite sweatpants and hoodie on the edge of the bed, then he silently shoved the remainder of their things into their bags, regardless of what belonged to who. They’d figure it out later. He showered and dressed and brushed his teeth in the dark, hauled their bags to the car, and made coffee, all before the sun came up.

He was standing in the kitchen, sipping his coffee, practicing his lines so that once they got home, he could make the break as clean as possible, when Louis stumbled into the kitchen. 

“What are you doing? It’s too early,” Louis mumbled and shuffled across the room with his hands shoved into the front pocket of his hoodie. 

“Couldn’t sleep. Just ready to get home.” It was going to be a long drive and Harry wanted to get it over with. “Car’s packed up.”

“It’s not even seven.” Louis moved closer and rested his forehead on Harry’s shoulder. “Could still be asleep.”

Harry’s hand came up to stroke Louis’ back, but when he noticed what he was was doing, he stopped and dropped his hand, then stepped to the side, away from Louis, and poured him a cup of coffee. “Wanted to say thanks to your mom first, but I’m ready to leave.”

From the corner of his eye, he could see Louis watching him warily, like he didn’t know what to say. Which was fine. Harry’d make it easy for him, but he had to get out of there first. 

“She’s up. Heard her shower running. I’m just… I’m gonna make sure we aren’t leaving anything. And, um… throw the sheets in the wash.” 

Harry nodded and looked down at his shoes. Louis was gone when he looked up again. He sighed and rubbed his eyelids with the pads of his fingers, then poured another cup of coffee.

“Morning, Harry.” Jay joined him in the kitchen and he fumbled with his cup, then grabbed one off the shelf for her. “I know you’re probably ready to get out of here. We can be… difficult to be around for more than a day or two.” She smiled at him and took his offered cup of coffee with a thank you.

“Yeah, I keep thinking about things at home that I should be doing.”

She nodded and set her coffee down on the counter, then wrapped him up in a hug. “Thank you for spending Christmas with us.” She took a step back, but left her hand on his shoulder, lowered her voice to just above a whisper and said, “I love my son, but sometimes he does things that don’t make sense. You know?”

A little laugh escaped Harry before he knew it was happening.

“Right.” She smiled and rolled her eyes fondly, then continued, “He loves you though. I hope he doesn’t screw it up.” She patted Harry’s shoulder and reached for her coffee, taking it with her on her way out of the room.

Harry could hear her in talking in the hall, so he poked his head out of the kitchen in time to see her kiss Louis on the cheek and walk back towards her bedroom. Louis saw him as soon as Harry glanced down the hall and he kept eye contact as he walked closer, stopping just a few feet away. “I started the car already, so I guess we can go. I’ll buy Starbucks.”

“Alright.” Harry washed his coffee cup and set it on the rack to dry, pulled on his coat and hat, and followed Louis out to the car.

« »

If the long drive up had been uncomfortable because of Harry’s nerves and unanswered questions, then the drive home was at least ten times that because neither of them were even trying to pretend that everything was fine. After they’d stopped for coffee, they hadn’t spoken again until they switched about halfway home and Louis took over driving. Harry tried to sleep the rest of the way, figuring that at least if he was unconscious, the time would seem to go by faster. Sleep evaded him and he was left to pretend to be out like a light or else he’d have to experience the silence between them as it truly was—awkward and filled with tension.

When they finally pulled up outside their apartment building, Harry was shocked to see that it was barely one o’clock. They were able to carry everything upstairs in one trip and after they divided their clothes and Harry started a load of laundry and Louis unpacked their presents, there was nothing left to do, but just get it over with. Still, Harry avoided talking at all, afraid of what he might say.

It was early evening, though the sun was already on its way down, and Louis was in the shower while Harry sat on his bed, going from tab to tab on his laptop, looking at nothing. His bedroom door wasn’t closed, so when Louis knocked on it and it swung the rest of the way open, Harry wasn’t surprised. He’d seen him coming. Though he hadn’t realized he wasn’t dressed and only had a towel around his waist. He leaned against the door jamb and watched Harry until Harry looked up.

“We should talk.” Louis pushed himself out of the doorway and took a step into the room.

“It’s fine, Lou. It was one of those things, you know? We were both caught up in the whole…” Harry circled both hands in the air in front of him, trying to encompass the entire holiday with Louis’ family in one single gesture. “Fake boyfriend thing. That and the wine.”

Louis stopped where he was, just a few feet inside Harry’s room, and chewed on his lower lip before slowly saying, “Right.”

“Right, so,” Harry barreled on, hoping that if he said it fast, it’d be over and done. Plus, the quicker he talked, the less likely he was to burst into tears halfway through. “I mean, it was fun, but it didn’t mean anything. And since you’re planning to tell your family we broke up in like, two weeks? It’s perfect timing. Lease is up soon, so I looked into those apartments near my school and I think I’m going to get a one-bedroom there.”

“You’re moving out?”

Harry nodded and took a deep breath. “Yeah, just makes sense, doesn’t it? How fucked up would that be if we ‘broke up’ and kept living together?”

“I don’t… I mean… I guess…” Louis looked down and tightened his grip on the towel around his waist, then turned and left the room.

After a few more calming breaths with his eyes closed, Harry shut his laptop, then got up to put it on his dresser and shut his door. It had gone better than he’d expected. He’d honestly thought he’d be in tears before actually telling Louis he was moving out and he’d sort of thought Louis would put up more of a fight, but it was probably best that he hadn’t. This was going to be hard enough without having to get deeper into the reasons for it. Still, he was going to miss this place. Though not nearly as much as he’d miss Louis. 

And there they were. Harry’s eyes filled with tears and no matter how many times he blinked, they didn’t go away. Then they started to fall and he tried to keep up with them, wiping them away with his sleeve before they got too far.

His bedroom door banged open, bouncing off his dresser, and Harry spun around. Louis stood there, fully clothed now in an old, ratty pair of basketball shorts and Harry’s silk button-up shirt that he’d packed for their trip, but hadn’t worn. 

“I want to know what the fuck—”

“You’re wearing my shirt—”

“I don’t…” Louis looked down at himself as if he was just noticing what he had on. “I just pulled on what was closest. These were on my bed. I…” He looked back up at Harry and shook his head. “No. I want to know why.”

“I told you, Lou. It just makes sense. I can’t be your ex-boyfr— _ex-fake-boyfriend_ and still live with you. Your family will think it’s weird and—”

“I don’t care what they think is weird.”

“I don’t want them to hate me or think badly of me. And they will if they figure out that we lied to them. When. When they figure it out.”

“I don’t—”

“I do though. I mean, we can still be friends.” Even as he said it, he knew it wasn’t true, but he had to lie a little bit, to save himself further heartbreak. “I know you’re not usually friends with your, um… the people you’ve slept with.”

“I’m not… What?”

“It’s fine. I know it didn’t mean anything. I knew that before it happened.”

Louis just stared at him, standing there looking ridiculous, like he’d gotten dressed in the dark. But then he said, “We can… We can be friends. I’m always going to be your friend. I just… Can you just… tell me how _Chad_ gets to be with you for like four months? And what’s his name, Logan? He got to be with you for six fucking months before he cheated on you. He was a dick, by the way, like, long before that. Sorry. And that dude you were dating when we got this place? I wiped his name from my memory, but him? How do these… people… What do they have? What are they doing…” He trailed off and looked up at the ceiling, pressing his hands against his eyes.

“What do you mean?” Harry really didn’t want to go over his dating history. He knew that Louis didn’t approve of any of his exes, and he’d been right about every one of them, but he wasn’t sure he’d be able to have this conversation right now.

“What do I mean?” Louis dropped his arms down, then crossed them over his chest and blinked rapidly. He widened his stance like he was ready to argue. “I mean, what the fuck do these assholes have? Why do you let people like… Logan—I _hated_ him. Why does he get to have you… have your heart?”

Harry frowned and bit his lip. No one else had ever had his heart, not fully. It had belonged to Louis from the day they met. “I don’t want to talk about my exes, Lou.”

“I don’t either! Fuck.” Louis uncrossed his arms and balled his hands into fists. “This isn’t how I thought this would go.”

“What the hell are you talking about? How what would go?”

Louis strode across the room, Harry’s shirt fluttering out behind him, and didn’t stop until he was almost chest to chest with Harry, and he practically shouted, “Why does fucking Chad—Harry, that guy was a jackass—why does he get four fucking months of your life? You told him you loved him and he didn’t deserve you. Don’t I—“

“Why are you talking about Chad? You were right. Again. Every guy I date is an asshole.” Harry threw his hands up in the air, completely frustrated with Louis. Their friendship was basically ending and now was not the time. He ran his fingers through his hair and laced them together behind his head. “Just say what you want to say.”

Louis took a step back and looked down at his hands, his voice dropped to a whisper and he said, “I thought that this whole… faking it thing was like my opportunity. And like… It was good, I think? But I always kind of figured you just didn’t… find me attractive. That was like, the sticking point. But then last night happened and I was fucking thrilled because… I don’t know. I was like, ticking every box.”

“I… don’t… ticking boxes?” Harry looked down and closed his eyes. He was so tired of feeling confused. 

“We have fun. We get along. We’re compatible. We live together for fuck’s sake, or we did, I guess. It’s like… I think we’d be so good together, but you won’t…”

Harry’s head jerked up and his eyes flew open. “I won’t?”

Louis met his gaze and Harry was stunned to see that his eyes were wet with unshed tears. “Why won’t you give me a chance to love you?”

Sometimes, when he’d dreamt about things like this happening, Harry would attempt to respond to whatever Louis said, but when he’d open his mouth to speak it was like he’d lose control of his lips or his tongue, he couldn’t form words, and then suddenly he’d feel as if he was being smothered, and he’d wake up sweating and short of breath, sucking in air. 

It seemed as though real life was taking its cues from his nightmares as Harry’s mouth moved soundlessly, too shocked to speak, but it only lasted a moment before his mouth caught up to his brain. “A chance? Lou, you don’t know… You… You’ve had my heart for two years. It’s yours. I’m yours.”

Louis blinked rapidly, then closed his eyes. “I thought you didn’t—”

“Of course I do,” Harry murmured and leaned forward slightly, circling his arms around Louis’ shoulders and tucking his face against Louis’ neck. “How could I not?” 

“I don’t…” Louis stopped and heaved a sigh, pulled Harry closer by the hips, let his hands settle on his lower back, and rested his head on Harry’s shoulder, swaying their bodies together. “I don’t know,” he finally said, then snickered quietly in Harry’s ear. “I _am_ pretty wonderful.”

“Oh my god.” Harry reached his hand around and pinched the back of Louis’ arm until he yelped. “You’re not. You’re horrible.”

“You’re wonderful.” Louis turned his head and pressed his lips against Harry’s neck and hummed. “I… I’m so in love with you. Don’t… Please don’t move out.”

Harry shook his head and tightened his hold around Louis. “I won’t. Promise. Just… we need to talk about some stuff, I think.”

Louis nodded and lifted his head, then Harry looked up. Slowly, Louis leaned in and gently kissed Harry’s lips, then backed up and led him out of the room and to the kitchen where, after Louis changed out of Harry’s silk button-up and put on a t-shirt, they started to talk. 

Over an early dinner, they talked about how worried they’d both been all weekend, how they both felt like they were being so obvious, and how it seemed like they were both so caught up in their own heads that they never noticed. As they unpacked the rest of their things, Louis told Harry how he hadn’t thought it through at all before asking him to spend the holiday as his boyfriend, and how scared he’d been that his family would blow it, and that he’d stayed sober when they were at the bar with his friends so that he could make sure none of them mentioned how long he’d been in love with Harry. While they folded laundry, they talked about how long they’d wait before telling anyone the truth about how they got together.

“Come to bed with me?” Louis asked after they finished cleaning up the dinner dishes. He held out his hands for Harry’s and pulled him towards his bedroom, stopping to place soft kisses on his cheeks and hands on the way. 

Once they were both inside Louis’ room, Harry leaned back and pushed the door shut with his bum, then let Louis guide him over to the bed where he stopped and sat down on the edge of the mattress, still holding both of Harry’s hands in his. 

The only light in the room came from the small lamp on Louis’ bedside table, so when Louis looked up at Harry, he looked even more beautiful than normal. After his shower, he’d let his hair dry on its own, and it was straight and soft and fell across his forehead so that he kept brushing it to the side with the tips of his fingers or tossing his head to flick it off his face. Harry swung their joined hands from side to side and stepped in between Louis’ knees.

“Tired, baby?” Louis asked and tilted his head, pursing his lips.

Harry nodded and said, “Yeah, but not sleepy. Why?”

“Was just thinking about what you said about your dream. That I was gonna blow you, but then we, um… never got around to that last night.” Louis winked playfully and leaned forward to rest his head against Harry’s stomach. 

Harry let out a breathy laugh and let go of Louis’ hands so that he could run his fingers through his hair. While he scratched at Louis’ scalp and twirled his fingers through the soft strands, Louis ran his hands up and down the back of Harry’s thighs. “Lou, um… Do you remember what I said at first? That we were kissing and you were about to suck me off, then I woke up?”

Louis nodded and the movement of his head rucked up the hem of Harry’s t-shirt, exposing the skin just above the waist of his sweatpants, which he then kissed.

“Right, well, um… that’s all that happened in my dream. The rest—” he cut himself off with a hiss when Louis bit down on the skin below his belly button. “Fuck. I made it up.”

“Hmm?” Louis sat back and looked up at him, frowning slightly.

“I just… I thought it was a one-time thing and I just… I said what I wanted to happen. Sorry.” Harry held Louis’ head still and bent over to kiss the frown off his face. “You don’t have to blow me. Not that I’m complaining if you do.”

Louis was silent as he ran his hands back up to Harry’s waist, tucked the tips of his fingers inside the elastic band, and brought them around to the front, leaving them hooked inside the fabric and tugging Harry’s sweatpants down just enough to reveal the trail of hair that disappeared under his briefs. “That’s okay, baby. Glad you got what you wanted. I’d really…” He leaned and kissed Harry’s stomach again, moving from left to right, and pulling his briefs down a bit to lick along the skin above his cock. Harry shivered and Louis smiled up at him. “I’d love to suck you off. Thought about it so many times, but um…”

“What do you want, Lou?” Harry hooked his finger under Louis’ chin and ran his thumb over his lower lip. “Like… You should get to do whatever you want. Fair’s fair.”

“Yeah?” 

Harry bit his bottom lip and nodded. “Yeah. You can… You can do anything. Tell me what happens.”

Louis stood up so suddenly that Harry stumbled backwards a bit, but didn’t go far since Louis still had a hold of his pants. “First,” Louis said as he slowly spun them around. “You’re getting naked.” He pushed Harry’s sweatpants and briefs down until they were around his thighs, then lowered himself to his knees and left a trail of kisses from Harry’s hip, down the outside of his leg as he pulled his pants off, then kissed back up the other leg before standing back up and sliding his hands under Harry’s t-shirt.

When Louis’ fingers grazed the skin of his stomach, Harry shivered and grabbed for the hem of his shirt, yanking it over his head and tossing it to the side. Louis chuckled as Harry grinned at him and asked, “What happens next?”

“You get under the blanket because it’s cold in here.” Louis pushed Harry down onto the bed and watched as he scooted back and slipped under the covers. Harry watched while Louis undressed, and in his opinion it was over too quickly. He dropped his shorts to the floor and took off his shirt and was naked and climbing into bed beside Harry in just a few seconds. 

“What now?” Harry asked and wiggled down further under the blanket, rolled onto his side to face Louis and moved closer until he could feel the heat radiating from his body.

Instead of answering, Louis tilted his head and leaned forward to capture Harry’s lips in a kiss. He skated the palm of his hand over Harry’s hip and up his back between his shoulder blades, holding him there and pressing his body closer until they were chest to chest. Louis bit down on Harry’s lower lip and tugged on it with his teeth, then released it and said, “I love your mouth.”

Harry brought their lips together again and hooked his leg over Louis’, trying to bring his hips closer. “It loves you too.”

“I love your back.” Louis traced the edge of Harry’s shoulder blade with his thumb. “Can I, um… look at it?”

Harry untangled himself from Louis and rolled onto his stomach, resting his head on his hands. “It’s sensitive.”

Louis stayed on his side, propped his head up on his hand, and folded the blanket down until it only covered Harry from the waist down. “Ticklish?” he asked and trailed his fingers down Harry’s spine, barely touching his skin.

“Not really. Just, um… sensitive.”

Louis leaned in and left a single kiss on Harry’s shoulder, then pushed himself up and swung his leg over Harry’s body so that he was sitting on top of the blanket, just below Harry’s ass. Harry closed his eyes and sighed as Louis began to gently trace along the sides of his spine with the pads of his fingers. He followed it up to his neck and back down to the fold of the blanket, then with feather light touches, he drew small circles over Harry’s lower back, letting his fingers slip just under the edge of the blanket. 

Goosebumps covered Harry’s skin when Louis dragged his nails over his shoulders and down the backs of his arms, but they started to fade when Louis bent forward and Harry could feel his body heat along his back. 

The slightly chapped skin of Louis’ lips brushed against Harry’s shoulder blade and a breathy moan left Harry’s lips. Louis left kisses all along the curve of it, then moved to the other side. His lips became more insistent, pressing into Harry’s skin faster and more firmly each time he drew another sound from him. Soon Louis was nipping at Harry’s love handles and leaving slow, open mouth kisses in the spaces between Harry ribs, while Harry writhed beneath him, grinding against the mattress, then lifting his hips in an effort to feel more of Louis’ dick through the folded blanket. Louis sucked on the muscle between Harry’s neck and shoulder, leaving bruises on both sides, and licked up the side of Harry’s neck to his ear where he stopped and whispered, “Love your ass too.”

Harry groaned and stretched his arms above his head, searching for something to hold onto, but finding nothing. He laid the palms of his hands against the wall and straightened his arms, shifting his body back just enough that he could feel Louis’ dick moving against his ass. “Tell me…” 

Louis crawled further down Harry’s body and folded the blanket down again until it was only covering Harry’s legs, tucked it tightly under the sides of his thighs, forcing his legs together, and settled on top of him again. The gentle touches continued over Harry’s lower back and down as Louis scratched lightly enough to give Harry chills. Harry focused on each touch and he could feel Louis tracing hearts on his ass cheeks, he giggled uncontrollably and tried to stifle it by biting down on the inside of his bicep.

“You can laugh, Harold.” Louis placed a loud, smacking kiss on Harry’s ass cheek, and Harry let himself go, filling the room with the sound of his laughter. He could hear the smile in Louis’ voice as he said, “Okay, okay. That’s enough.” 

When Harry couldn’t stop right away, Louis grabbed two handfuls of his ass, dug his fingers into the muscle, squeezed, then leaned down and bit one cheek, making Harry gasp. Harry was torn between grinding against the mattress and pushing his ass up in an effort to keep Louis’ mouth on him. Louis trailed the tips of his fingers along both sides of Harry’s crack, then spread his cheeks apart as much as he could with Harry’s legs trapped together in the blanket. There was barely enough room for his tongue when he licked Harry from the spot where the blanket met his skin to the bottom of his spine. 

Harry shuddered and tried to widen his legs to give Louis more room, but when he couldn’t move much, he whined and lifted his hips, hoping that Louis would get the hint. Louis pulled Harry’s cheeks apart again and forced his tongue between them, the very tip of it teasing Harry’s rim, and causing Harry to make a low breathy sound. 

“Can I…” Louis licked Harry again, flattening his tongue, then dropping a kiss on one cheek. He dragged his thumb up Harry’s crease, then twisted his wrist and pressed the pad of his thumb against Harry’s rim. “Can I fuck you?”

“Yes. Jesus. Fuck.” Harry wiggled, trying to free himself from the blanket. Louis moved to the side and pulled the blanket off of him and laughed when Harry immediately pushed himself up onto his hands and knees, looked back over his shoulder, and asked, “What happens next?”

Louis crawled over to him and kissed him hard, missing half of his mouth and knocking him over onto his side. He pushed Harry onto his back, covered Harry’s body with his own, held his face between his hands and kissed him properly. “Do you really want me to tell you?” Louis asked, his lips brushing against Harry’s as he spoke.

“Yes,” Harry hissed and rutted up against Louis, finally feeling the weight and heat of Louis’ cock against his skin. He slid his hands down Louis’ back and cupped his ass in his hands, pulling him closer, but then he paused and moved his head back, searching Louis’ face. “Is that weird?”

“No, it’s not.” Louis shook his head and rubbed the tips of their noses together. “Just wanted to be sure. But also, like, don’t be afraid to, um… be weird. I like you weird.”

Harry surged up to bring their lips together again. “I love you so much.”

“Love you too, baby.” Louis smiled and pressed a quick kiss to Harry’s cheek, then pushed himself back up onto his knees, tapped Harry’s hip and said, “Hands and knees.”

Harry scrambled to obey, then watched Louis as he rifled through his nightstand, finally emerging victorious with a condom and lube. He smoothed the palm of his hand over Harry’s ass and traced the curve where it met his thigh, then circled around to the top and laid his hand on Harry’s lower back.

“I’m…” Louis cleared his throat. “I want to touch you. Get you ready for me.” 

Harry nodded and Louis’ slick finger rubbed over his rim. Immediately, Harry started pressing back against Louis’ hand, impatient for more. Louis’ hand disappeared and returned, his fingers dripping lube and spreading it around. There was the familiar pressure just before he felt Louis’ finger slide inside and he dropped his head down and groaned, fighting the urge to rock back on it.

“I love that noise. Love knowing that you like what I’m doing to you,” Louis murmured and pumped his finger steadily in and out, circling just inside Harry’s hole, then pressing in as far as he could. He worked that single finger in and out of Harry’s body while Harry groaned and whined, until finally, Harry felt the tips of two fingers gradually easing past his rim. “You look so hot, baby. Can’t wait to be inside you, but I’m gonna take my time.”

The sensation of being stretched so slowly that there was virtually no sting or burn wasn’t something Harry was used to. He kept up a stream of whimpers and wanton moans, louder than he’d ever been before, encouraging Louis to keep going at his leisurely pace. Harry was able to relax and let himself just feel everything—every time Louis twisted his wrist or scissored his fingers or curled them in search of his prostate, Harry experienced it as something completely new. If Louis hadn’t paused to add more lube, Harry thought he might not have even been aware of him sliding his ring finger in alongside the other two. 

When Louis’ three fingers were finally deep inside Harry, he held them there, then began to gently circle them. His knuckles rubbed against Harry’s rim, stretching it more and more as Louis pushed further inside until he was able to move them and spread them with relative ease. It was fucking incredible and Harry hadn’t even thought to touch himself before Louis slipped his other hand between Harry’s legs, massaging behind his balls and up the underside of his dick.

“Lou,” Harry said, his voice low and rough, cracking over one syllable. “Fuck… Are you… What…”

“Yeah… Gonna fuck you now, baby. Been so good. Letting me touch you.” Louis pressed a kiss to the bottom of Harry’s spine, straightened up, and pulled his fingers free. Harry dropped down to his forearms and hummed, then looked behind him to watch Louis roll on the condom and slick himself up.

He allowed himself a moment to stare while Louis was looking down, then Louis’ eyes flickered up and met his, and his smile was blinding and contagious. Harry was grinning like a maniac, but he didn’t care. “Love you, Lou,” Harry whispered and turned his head back to rest on his folded hands.

Louis’ hands rested on Harry’s hips for a moment, then he slid them over to cover Harry’s ass cheeks, rubbing his thumbs up and down and gently pulling him apart. Harry loved how well Louis had taken care of him so far, but he’d grown accustomed to having Louis’ fingers inside him and now he wanted more, and he wanted it yesterday, but Louis was still unmoving, holding him open, and—Harry peeked over his shoulder—staring down at him. His head jerked up and he blinked rapidly at Harry. “Sorry, baby, just… can’t believe I get to do this.” 

“What, um…” Harry’s shoulders shook with silent laughter. “What happens next?”

“Oh, shut up.” Louis rolled his eyes and smacked Harry’s ass playfully, but he seemed more focused, so Harry closed his eyes and waited. 

The initial press of Louis’ cock against his rim drew a sigh from Harry, but he forced himself to stay still while Louis slowly pushed inside, filling him perfectly. Louis ran his hands over Harry’s back and sides while his body adjusted around him, then slowly pulled out halfway, and brought their bodies back together. 

“You okay, baby?” Louis asked and gently squeezed Harry’s hips.

Harry nodded and said, “So, so okay. I just… I need…” He wanted Louis to fuck him hard and fast and he didn’t want to ask for it. He’d told Louis to do what he wanted and, apparently, what he wanted was to fuck Harry over the course of two or three days. 

Louis snickered and Harry frowned, but his frown disappeared when Louis drew himself back and plunged inside, knocking Harry off balance, his tight grip on Harry’s hips the only thing holding him up. 

“I’ve got you, baby,” Louis said and thrust into him again, echoing Harry’s loud moan. He worked up to a punishing pace, snapping his hips, and fucking Harry exactly the way he needed. Harry uncrossed his arms and felt for the wall, using it for leverage, rocking back against Louis’ dick every time he drove forward. 

The bodies moved together in a rhythm that brought Harry closer and closer to the edge without letting him tumble over, but he was close. He chanted Louis’ name like a prayer, begging him to fuck him harder, and crying out when Louis tilted his hips and found the perfect angle to hit his prostate. 

Sweat covered Harry’s body, Louis’ hands slipped on his waist, and he thrust deeper, sliding one hand down to wrap around Harry’s cock. His fist moved in time with his hips and Harry couldn’t keep up with bucking into Louis’ hand and fucking back onto his cock. Quickly his orgasm approached, starting as a spinning ball of fire in his belly, burning brighter until it exploded outward, sending currents of ecstasy along every nerve in Harry’s body. He came with a broken sob, shooting into Louis’ hand and onto the sheets below him, trembling as Louis continued to drive into him, chasing his own pleasure. Louis growled and his hips lost their rhythm as his orgasm took over. He leaned back, digging his fingers into Harry’s hips, pushing in deep and staying there as he pulsed into the condom.

As soon as Louis released Harry’s hips, he fell forward onto the mattress and Louis’ dick slipped free. Harry groaned and thought about rolling over and out of the wet spot, but decided against moving at all for the foreseeable future.

“Come on, baby.” Louis sat down on the edge of the bed and said, “Let me clean you up.”

Every last ounce of energy in Harry’s body went into turning onto his back. Louis carefully wiped him off and cleaned as much of the come from the sheet as he could, then laid a dry towel over it. He climbed into the bed beside Harry and laid on his side with his head propped up on his fist and his other hand resting on Harry’s belly. 

“Sleepy?” Louis asked as he traced circles around Harry’s belly button.

“Yeah.” Harry yawned right on cue and managed to roll onto his side and wiggle backwards until he was right where he wanted to be—his back to Louis’ chest, his bum nestled against Louis’ soft cock, Louis’ arm around him, and their fingers laced together. “Can’t believe we haven’t been doing that for the last two years.”

Louis snorted in his ear, then placed a soft kiss on the skin behind it. “Lots to catch up on, hmm?”

Harry nodded and tightened his grip on Louis’ hand, then smiled to himself. This time he knew he’d fallen for someone who deserved him.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading! Kudos ❤️ are lovely, comments are especially appreciated, and if you liked it, here’s a [Tumblr post](http://fullonlarrie.tumblr.com/post/168490819115/find-you-home-by-fullonlarrie-when-louis-lies-to) you can reblog.
> 
> If you liked it, check out [.](http://archiveofourown.org/works?utf8=%E2%9C%93&commit=Sort+and+Filter&work_search%5Bsort_column%5D=word_count&work_search%5Bother_tag_names%5D=&work_search%5Bquery%5D=&work_search%5Blanguage_id%5D=&work_search%5Bcomplete%5D=0&user_id=FullOnLarrie)


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